{{{Calli}}}

I was an hour late (putting on shoes and braces by myself has become quite a task), but I made it. And I ended up having a good time once I got over the onerousness of getting there. I even stopped at the Farmer's market on the way home. My cousins' kids are adorable and getting so big!

My mother, however is failing at her task of telling people that I will not take gifts until the baby is born. So, then I have to be the one to say "thank you, and I'd be happy to open this after ltc is born". Honestly, even looking at the pretty packages just makes me nervous, as does talk like "next time I see you you'll have had the baby!". I just want to keep adding "hopefully".

{{{askye}}} I'm so sorry you're having a rough week. Is there anything any of us can do?

Sending you love, askye. It sucks not having answers for life stuff.

For fifty bucks, I would be a wiseass and tell this person that talks about Planned Parenthood killing the innocent either Western-style "Some folks need killing." or that my fictional sister had a sonogram and the kid looked at me funny, but I totes don't want to be on Fox News today even with "loofah" in tow.

(Look, I don't really feel that way about babies...I like them and feel sad sometimes that they can't be a part of what I used to call my Life's Plan(TM) What gets my back up is that they write this pompous bull as if I'm gonna say "Thank you, Avenging Stranger with a Penis...I guess I let my foolish lady passions overwhelm me as I grieve my worthless, barren life." On the other hand, nobody gave me the fifty bucks, either.

Thanks.

sj I wish there was something any of you can do but there's nothing it's just trying to accept where I am in my life right now without judgement (radical acceptance) and figure out how to live with it and through it.

I wish someone could say - this is what you need to do. I'm going to work on pros and cons lists for a few things, not just the DBT group and then figure things out.

I really want to stay home tomorrow becuase I'm in such turmoil but that's not the right choice so I'll go to work. At least it won't be so hot.

If I'd had the 50 bucks... I did not think that represented your opinion, just that it would have been a funny parody of right wind (not a typo) tough talk.

Askye, that sounds like a good plan. I'm sorry it's not easier.

I survived the day, but I guess I overdid it because I'm exhausted and weepy tonight. I have plans tomorrow but I suspect after that I should just stick close to home unless someone else is driving. It's just too much for me at this point.

Sorry, love.

Vortex Health Follow Up - Went back to discuss tests with doctor. Blood work and CAT scan all normal. No explanation for said symptoms, but I will hydrate more in the future.

askye, it sounds like you are using the tools (when you said that about wanting to stay home, I thought "Oh! Opposite action!"). I know it doesn't seem like it, but digging out of a hole is not a quick process. I can't offer "I've been there" support, but all I can offer is "you're doing the work, which is all that can be done" encouragement.