Yay for progress and self-awareness, bonny! And for friends who call even when they DON'T want something!

Zen, she ran down her hygiene routine for me, which I had to finally stop her and say, "Do you realize how much this is none of my business?" I'm seriously not asking her to do anything different.

She made the connection to a particular grocery she frequents where a lot of people, in diminished circumstance, really do smell bad. She assumed I was lumping her in with them, which speaks to something completely different.

In the end, I boiled it down to the potentially true thing that I am...to use her term 'exquisitely sensitive'...and could she please accommodate for my need.

There is no point in my beating the issue that I'm certain my sensitivity, while pretty refined, is not superhuman-like and other people just don't care enough to say anything...or don't know how.

Over on Ravelry, there's a woman who's been dealing with her wife's cancer treatment and her own hysterectomy. Her wife's chemo is done and her hair is coming back and everything looks good. Her own pre-surgical pain is gone, and they're contemplating a life of health and freedom from pain.

It hurts so damned much.

I don't think I'll be reading in her thread any more.

bonny, others here have given you more wisdom than I have on this topic, which together with your own wisdom has gotten you through to the point where things are as ok as possible with this person. One thing I can say about knowing you - to the extent that you have revealed yourself here, I am grateful for the privilege of knowing you. I love your compassion, your creativity, your ability to cut through bullshit, your sense of the ridiculous. And I'm also really glad that you chose to reveal that part of yourself that is not always completely together, both because vulnerability is a precious gift and because... well... perfect people aren't nearly as much fun as the rest of us.

Yesterday, Harvey chased Sammie vigorously enough that she ended up taking refuge on the arm of the chair I was sitting in. Twice.

Connie, I'm sorry. It does hurt and it's not fair. Sometimes it's too much to be a bigger person and be happy for what we will never have. That's ok. I swear. Survival is not always pretty. Much love and understanding.

Oh, Connie. Sometimes it is too much to try to make yourself be happy for other people. It feels like pouring salt into the wound, but it doesn't have the excuse of preventing infection. It just stings like hell.

you are not responsible for how she reacts, but you are responsible for how you react to her.

This, this, this - for so many different situations. I work to impress this concept on my kids. And to constantly remind myself of the same.

This morning I had to change my main work password. Then promptly forgot it by the next time I had to use it. Ended up calling IT to have it reset again. Hopefully I'll do better this time.

Aw, Andi. I feel so hugged. Thank you so much.

And can I just say...GO Harvey! It's great to hear he is feeling well.

Connie, MFN and WS, have said what I would have. I so, completely support you in picking and choosing where you interact. Sometimes, taking care of yourself is the best way to be supportive.

Oh, Connie. Yeah, just step away from that thread. She's got enough, she doesn't need your celebration too. It's been a long time for me, but still sometimes when I hear of someone surviving (or living well with) the disease that killed Melisa, I just want to throw things against a wall.

I am sorry, connie.