Ugh, you guys, I feel like a huge jerk. My brother told me that his wife has an amazing work opportunity that would take them to Switzerland for 1-3 years. And that DOES sound amazing, and it's exciting...and I don't want them to move further away than they already are. Vermont is far enough. They manage to come back to Cincy once or twice a year, but the likelihood of that happening if they live in Switzerland is nil.

I know my reaction is really selfish, which is why (since I'm not actually a total jerk) I didn't say any of that to my brother. Because it IS an amazing opportunity. I get that. I just don't want them to move further away.

(I 100% don't need anyone to chime in with "But that means you can visit Switzerland now!" Because (1) I know how travel works, and (2) not really the point.)

I just needed to get that out there. I feel like a huge jerk for not being able to be 100% excited and supportive of them (although I think I was successfully excited and supportive on the phone with my brother; it's just in my brain that I'm full of selfishness that wants them to not move further away).

I know lots of people don't live near their siblings. I know people have siblings in other countries. I know of the existence of Skype. None of that is the point. I'm just feeling sad and selfish and like a jerk for being sad and selfish.

Not my best day ever at altruism.

You want him where you can reach him relatively easily. Distance is distance, no matter how "easy" it is to reach out to people far away.

I think it's important to be able to say it out loud, at least once, where it won't hurt anybody or blow back.

It IS an amazing opportunity for them. I'm not *just* selfish; I think it's a great thing for them. But I'm also selfish. It's just hard.

Honestly, Steph, I'd think it was a little odd if you DIDN'T feel the way you are feeling.

Sounds natural and appropriate.

The only part that doesn't make as much sense to me is feeling bad about feeling bad when the first feeling bad is probably enough.

Almost all of my significant people live far-far elsewhere. I've adjusted but it still sucks sometimes.

Well, Matilda wasn't too happy about Emmett's great opportunity to go to college.

Frankly, while I love for my loved ones to have amazing adventures, I don't want them to move too far away. Proximity matters, way more than we credit it.

And it's irrational too. I'm a little bummed Glamcookie is leaving California, and it's not like we've even gotten together on my annual trips to L.A. (Don't worry, Glam! I'm still really happy for you guys.)

Steph, the fact that you feel sad and selfish for not wanting him to be so far away means you have a brother that you love and want to be near you, and that's a good thing. You're not a jerk, you'd only be a jerk if that were ALL you felt and you said it to him.

As humans, we can feel lots of things at once. It can be a great thing for a brother and sad for you (and maybe scary and a little sad for him too), all at the same time.

I strongly suspect your brother has mixed feelings too!

I'm a little bummed Glamcookie is leaving California, and it's not like we've even gotten together on my annual trips to L.A. (Don't worry, Glam! I'm still really happy for you guys.)

Aw. It's definitely bittersweet for us. I know it's for the best, but I've been in CA for my entire adult life (16-44). It will be hard to get on that plane for the last time.

Steph, you're not a jerk or selfish. You just love your family and will miss them.