Honestly, Steph, I'd think it was a little odd if you DIDN'T feel the way you are feeling.

Sounds natural and appropriate.

The only part that doesn't make as much sense to me is feeling bad about feeling bad when the first feeling bad is probably enough.

Almost all of my significant people live far-far elsewhere. I've adjusted but it still sucks sometimes.

Well, Matilda wasn't too happy about Emmett's great opportunity to go to college.

Frankly, while I love for my loved ones to have amazing adventures, I don't want them to move too far away. Proximity matters, way more than we credit it.

And it's irrational too. I'm a little bummed Glamcookie is leaving California, and it's not like we've even gotten together on my annual trips to L.A. (Don't worry, Glam! I'm still really happy for you guys.)

Steph, the fact that you feel sad and selfish for not wanting him to be so far away means you have a brother that you love and want to be near you, and that's a good thing. You're not a jerk, you'd only be a jerk if that were ALL you felt and you said it to him.

As humans, we can feel lots of things at once. It can be a great thing for a brother and sad for you (and maybe scary and a little sad for him too), all at the same time.

I strongly suspect your brother has mixed feelings too!

I'm a little bummed Glamcookie is leaving California, and it's not like we've even gotten together on my annual trips to L.A. (Don't worry, Glam! I'm still really happy for you guys.)

Aw. It's definitely bittersweet for us. I know it's for the best, but I've been in CA for my entire adult life (16-44). It will be hard to get on that plane for the last time.

Steph, you're not a jerk or selfish. You just love your family and will miss them.

Steph, everyone is right, there's nothing wrong about the kind of selfishness you describe. We *all* feel that kind of ambivalence about someone else's job at some point. His moving is a loss for you, you are allowed to feel it and acknowledge it and not feel like a selfish jerk for it.

But I do know that feeling. When I was having trouble getting pregnant (with F) and my friend called to tell me she was pregnant, and first month they had tried too? Happy for her, but tears for me, and feeling very selfish.

Tep, I understand.(Although my brother's general lack of boundaries and, frankly, buzzkill tendencies) sometimes make that sound pretty sweet. But if it really happened, I'm sure there would be feels of many descriptions, because I do love my brother and we are working on a decent adult relationship.

And yet again I envy the people who still have real relationships with their blood family.

Man, smack me if I ever complain about not being hit on. Facebook has made me low-hanging fruit to a certain kind of shy, young subliterate.(Am I training wheels for dudes that don't make sense? the head-injured seeking a fellow-traveler with a nice rack? I'm kidding a little, but this dude does seem a bit...impaired. He could probably pass for normal in the grocery store, but one-to-one with a chick in chat? Not really.In his head, the fact that we've said "Hi" a few times is quite the correspondence and he's already "negged" me for "Not wanting to talk to me,"(If I ever find Mystery, I think I'm going to shove his hat up his ass for convincing guys that are already weird that the super-duper secret is to be rude and presumptuous too, I swear.)