You know how they say that your life flashes before your eyes when you think you're about to die? What flashes before my eyes is the knowledge that my mother will see my credit card debt.

Oh, good grief, yes. I come from a family of ultra-thrifty penny-counting misers who can keep multiple ledgers in one checking account accurate down the penny. If my sister knew how much debt I'm carrying right now, she'd disown me. Or worse, scold me. My mother is probably checking my bank accounts from Heaven and shaking her head sadly.

I have been bad with debt for the last little while too. It's not quite out of control, but a lot higher than I would like. It's going to be an austerity year, except for the fact that I've already committed travelling to England next fall.

I was in debt from the moment I left college until I was in my 40s, and it wasn't all student loan debt either. I'm still not in a position to buy a house. (Not that I know where I'll be in three months anyway.) Finances can be hard. And the middle class as lost a lot of money since the 70s, so the distance between where many of us think we should be and where we really are can be great and growing.

I almost regret that Hubby's student debt got vacated before he died. I was looking forward to contacting those vultures and saying "He's free of you! Suck it!"

Thank you all so much. It's a huge help to know that others have been/are in similar straits, with some of the same worries (I know my mom would FLIP THE FUCK OUT if she knew I was carrying debt). I also can also now tell myself that there are things that I spent some of that money on that I do NOT in any way regret.

Andi, I especially appreciate your point about not being ready to deal with it and now being able to move on with it wholeheartedly.

I cannot tell you how much the support of this group means to me, or how much it means that I can come to you all with a situation like this and get loving and meaningful support.

Im in debt don't really have savings. I have a 41 plan and I sick at bugeting. Basically I live pay check to paycheck and I work in retail at 41 yes old. Oh and I need my dad's help to pay part of my therapy copay.

And I end up needing to talk to my therapist about how lousy it all ffeels.plus I just realized I've been paying on credit card 2 weeks late because u mixed up the due date and have been racking up fees.

I'm right there with you Anne. Unemployment and unexpected medical bills put me in a huge gaping hole and I freak out if I think about it too much.

Let's not talk about how satisfying to the pride being on benefits for over twenty years is not.

Someone who I decided I know longer want to hang out with stopped by with a box full of expensive food. I did not let her in. I thanked her for the thought but refused to take the food in. She left it on my porch. After she drove off, I brought it in so cats would not get the salmon. Am I obliged to donate to food to a food banks or something if I don't want to renew the friendship? Material generosity has always been a substitute on her part for good manners and basic consideration. So I definitely to don't want to deal with her again.

You should donate it somewhere and ask them to send her a letter of acknowledgment.