I was in debt from the moment I left college until I was in my 40s, and it wasn't all student loan debt either. I'm still not in a position to buy a house. (Not that I know where I'll be in three months anyway.) Finances can be hard. And the middle class as lost a lot of money since the 70s, so the distance between where many of us think we should be and where we really are can be great and growing.

I almost regret that Hubby's student debt got vacated before he died. I was looking forward to contacting those vultures and saying "He's free of you! Suck it!"

Thank you all so much. It's a huge help to know that others have been/are in similar straits, with some of the same worries (I know my mom would FLIP THE FUCK OUT if she knew I was carrying debt). I also can also now tell myself that there are things that I spent some of that money on that I do NOT in any way regret.

Andi, I especially appreciate your point about not being ready to deal with it and now being able to move on with it wholeheartedly.

I cannot tell you how much the support of this group means to me, or how much it means that I can come to you all with a situation like this and get loving and meaningful support.

Im in debt don't really have savings. I have a 41 plan and I sick at bugeting. Basically I live pay check to paycheck and I work in retail at 41 yes old. Oh and I need my dad's help to pay part of my therapy copay.

And I end up needing to talk to my therapist about how lousy it all ffeels.plus I just realized I've been paying on credit card 2 weeks late because u mixed up the due date and have been racking up fees.

I'm right there with you Anne. Unemployment and unexpected medical bills put me in a huge gaping hole and I freak out if I think about it too much.

Let's not talk about how satisfying to the pride being on benefits for over twenty years is not.

Someone who I decided I know longer want to hang out with stopped by with a box full of expensive food. I did not let her in. I thanked her for the thought but refused to take the food in. She left it on my porch. After she drove off, I brought it in so cats would not get the salmon. Am I obliged to donate to food to a food banks or something if I don't want to renew the friendship? Material generosity has always been a substitute on her part for good manners and basic consideration. So I definitely to don't want to deal with her again.

You should donate it somewhere and ask them to send her a letter of acknowledgment.

Good idea

Turns out none of our local charity places will accept perishables in open containers (which makes sense). So neighbors are about to get a bonaza. I'll have to write the note passing on their thank yous,