Typo, my suggestion is to double check your mother's medical coverage - some plans will pay for those (especially as they are a bit preventative), some won't. And of course, some will pay for some but not as many as a person might actually use. Second suggestion is to check local pharmacies - sometimes they have more economical options on compression stockings.

Anne, don't beat yourself up about the LALALALA. You were simply not ready at that time to deal. You are now. Giving yourself that time to not deal gave you the space to GET ready. Now you are, so go at it wholeheartedly. And when you are tempted to vent your frustrations by ragging on yourself, practice the self-discipline of speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a beloved friend. You might admit the existence of past mistakes, but you wouldn't harp on them - instead you would encourage a focus on the here and now.

I'm trying not to freak out/beat myself up over being several thousand in debt.

Anne, I'm in the same boat, for what it's worth. Some of it was my trips to the UK, which I don't regret but didn't exactly budget for properly. Also I've been in a hole of depression for a while, and that leads to me spending money and not watching where it goes. Somehow, *utterly mysteriously*, I've got nearly ten thousand in credit card debt, when I was totally clear three years ago. And I feel like such an irresponsible dummy. I *know* better. So, yeah. Right there with you, paddling up the river.

I'm in the process of clearing out a lot of clutter, and instead of dumping it all at Goodwill, I'm thinking of trying to sell a bunch of it on eBay, not that I think I'll make enough to make a serious dent in the debt, it's more like, if I put out the effort to list and pack and mail all this stuff, it'll make some kind of visceral memory that will help me stop myself the next time I'm tempted to buy some shiny little thing that I don't really need.

Anne, I think most of us have gone down that road at some point, including the beating ourselves up about it part! At one point I told my mom I had debt beyond her wildest dreams. Our focus at this point is to get rid of it completely. It is a slow process, but I think it can happen.

I married Tim AND his debt (I don't count the mortgage; this is credit card debt). It's not awesome, but it happened, and we're working on it. We just have to keep moving forward with it.

You know how they say that your life flashes before your eyes when you think you're about to die? What flashes before my eyes is the knowledge that my mother will see my credit card debt.

You know how they say that your life flashes before your eyes when you think you're about to die? What flashes before my eyes is the knowledge that my mother will see my credit card debt.

Oh, good grief, yes. I come from a family of ultra-thrifty penny-counting misers who can keep multiple ledgers in one checking account accurate down the penny. If my sister knew how much debt I'm carrying right now, she'd disown me. Or worse, scold me. My mother is probably checking my bank accounts from Heaven and shaking her head sadly.

I have been bad with debt for the last little while too. It's not quite out of control, but a lot higher than I would like. It's going to be an austerity year, except for the fact that I've already committed travelling to England next fall.

I was in debt from the moment I left college until I was in my 40s, and it wasn't all student loan debt either. I'm still not in a position to buy a house. (Not that I know where I'll be in three months anyway.) Finances can be hard. And the middle class as lost a lot of money since the 70s, so the distance between where many of us think we should be and where we really are can be great and growing.

I almost regret that Hubby's student debt got vacated before he died. I was looking forward to contacting those vultures and saying "He's free of you! Suck it!"

Thank you all so much. It's a huge help to know that others have been/are in similar straits, with some of the same worries (I know my mom would FLIP THE FUCK OUT if she knew I was carrying debt). I also can also now tell myself that there are things that I spent some of that money on that I do NOT in any way regret.

Andi, I especially appreciate your point about not being ready to deal with it and now being able to move on with it wholeheartedly.

I cannot tell you how much the support of this group means to me, or how much it means that I can come to you all with a situation like this and get loving and meaningful support.