I wish i could go with you

I'm sorry, Connie. A movie sounds like a good idea. And if eating's difficult, perhaps a smoothie or a milkshake would go down a little easier? There'd be calories and a bit of nutrition, and it might be easier on your stomach than a sandwich.

I so wish that I were closer so that I could be with you. the tributes on Hubby's FB page are so very moving. He clearly touched so many lives.

Whatever you need, when you figure out what that might be, know so many are here for you.

I'm 20 years down that road, Connie. You will make it.

(I just realized, it's 20 years this year. I still dream of her every now and then. I always said I was okay, and it finally became true.)

I wish I was anywhere nearby Connie. But all I can do is send my sympathy and wishes.

For a few days, eat if you can but you'll live if you don't. After a couple of days, you absolutely need to keep up strength. But a day or two? I wouldn't force things. Eat what is easy mentally and physically.

Would it be better with kids? I'd have people around me, but I'd be suffering their grief, too. We're having his wake in a couple of weeks.

I think kids make things more communal but you are dealing with their grief too. Losing Dad, I tried to be a comfort or help to my stepMom but I was devastated. I couldn't really do anything but feel pain and loss. Maybe we shared that. Maybe it was hard for her to see. I don't really know.

When my Mom died it was easier to be with friends who had some of that remove you mentioned, Connie. Because with my own family we each were trying to process our grief but also trying to tend to each other. And it's not really possible to do both at the same time.

I took comfort from spending time with my best friend's girlfriend. I knew she was sad but not devastated by mom's death, so she was emotionally synced up with me but didn't need special attention.

It's very strange when you first enter the landscape of grief. It is a whole place emotionally where you've never been before.

You'll forget they're gone, and turn to them for comfort even though they are the person you've lost.

And you'll learn that grief is different from loss, and from sadness and from depression.

It's very exhausting at first. Very physical. And it all feels very unreal and strange.

How can it be that the world that they were here so recently and now gone forever? Very difficult for the mind and heart to grasp that.

Grief sucks beyond all telling. I am sorry that any of us have to endure this kind of loss. Every emotion you can imagine and a few you didn't know existed.

In my deepest grief, lots of people brought me lots and lots of wonderful food. It was all like sand in my mouth.

Cass is right, a couple of days won't hurt, but when you do need to get some calories, I can recommend the nutritional shakes from Costco. Much less gross than Ensure and small enough that you can get it down in a few mouths full without having time to think about it.

God. I wish I was there with you, which is hollow, I know. I'd SO go to see Captain America again, and anything else we could watch and chatnotchat about.

Another alternative is netflix watching over the phone. For THAT, I am here one hundred percent. We are distant enough from each other that, weirdly, it would not be weird. And I would be honored to hang out with and, not pry into, whatever your stuff is in any given moment.

My profile addy is good for number exchange.

It's miniscule, but this I offer with genuine sincerity.

Would it be better with kids?

If it leads to any questioning or self-doubt, let it go. No one can answer that one anyway, it depends on too many variables. This is the life you have, these are the people who love and support you, and things will be hard, but you will get through it.