In my deepest grief, lots of people brought me lots and lots of wonderful food. It was all like sand in my mouth.

Cass is right, a couple of days won't hurt, but when you do need to get some calories, I can recommend the nutritional shakes from Costco. Much less gross than Ensure and small enough that you can get it down in a few mouths full without having time to think about it.

God. I wish I was there with you, which is hollow, I know. I'd SO go to see Captain America again, and anything else we could watch and chatnotchat about.

Another alternative is netflix watching over the phone. For THAT, I am here one hundred percent. We are distant enough from each other that, weirdly, it would not be weird. And I would be honored to hang out with and, not pry into, whatever your stuff is in any given moment.

My profile addy is good for number exchange.

It's miniscule, but this I offer with genuine sincerity.

Would it be better with kids?

If it leads to any questioning or self-doubt, let it go. No one can answer that one anyway, it depends on too many variables. This is the life you have, these are the people who love and support you, and things will be hard, but you will get through it.

When my Mom died it was easier to be with friends who had some of that remove you mentioned, Connie. Because with my own family we each were trying to process our grief but also trying to tend to each other. And it's not really possible to do both at the same time.

God, that is what made you all such a godsend when I was going through the same thing. I genuinely don't know how I have made it without y'all and my girl Lucy.

What everyone else said, Connie. Don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to do. But drink water. Crying will dehydrate you quickly.

As for the rest, it is what it is. Nothing can be changed, and we have to somehow figure out a way to take the next breath.

It's very exhausting at first. Very physical. And it all feels very unreal and strange.

David is so very right here. You will feel like you've climbed a mountain. For the first 2 weeks or so, I was mentally disconnected from what my physical self was doing, but somehow what needed to get done got done. It's when there's nothing left to be done that the mind takes you down the dark path. That's when I was here almost 24/7. I couldn't take being with people, but I was terrified of being alone. This board, and Bitches especially, kept me going. I wish I could take this from you, but all I can offer is solidarity and support.

Darlings, I love you all.

God, that is what made you all such a godsend when I was going through the same thing. I genuinely don't know how I have made it without y'all

So much this.

It's very exhausting at first. Very physical. And it all feels very unreal and strange.

Yes.

I was mentally disconnected from what my physical self was doing, but somehow what needed to get done got done. It's when there's nothing left to be done that the mind takes you down the dark path. That's when I was here almost 24/7. I couldn't take being with people, but I was terrified of being alone. This board, and Bitches especially, kept me going.

And this.

I wish there was some easier way. I wish someone could be there, just a presence, for you. Failing that, we're here.

Connie, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and a Viking's strength.

So I told them to let him go, made sure his Thor's hammer was in his hand, told him that he wasn't unarmed and to go with the Valkyries, and held his hand and told him I'd be all right.

What a beautiful tribute, Connie. You've done your man proud. Please take care of yourself. Sleep and eat when you can, and rest and hydrate when you cannot. David is right. Grief is way more physical than it seems like it would be.

How can it be that the world that they were here so recently and now gone forever? Very difficult for the mind and heart to grasp that.

This. So much this.

I want him so badly, a little voice keeps saying "You could go to him, and you'll never be without him again." But so many people would be even more devastated, thinking they'd failed me. Billions of spouses have gone through this. I have to believe that there will be happiness, that it won't always be a thing of "If only he was here."

I am so angry, it was going so well, one of the last things he said was "Another bump on the road."

He was so excited at the idea of hosting a fireworks viewing party from his room with the stupendous view out over the valley. He'd be wanting to go out on the porch and watch. So these are triggers.

I was just thinking, "God, how much of this do you think they want to hear?" I must remember to reach out to people. Utah is such an awkward place to be.

Is there anything more I should say to a guy in re: the whole birth-control thing when he asks Amanda Marcotte why she hasn't had her tubes tied if she's sure she doesn't want kids besides "You're not the boss of her." Because my inner nine-year-old generally doesn't make my political points for me, despite what my detractors think.ETA: Connie, I don't know what to say, but I believe it will be that raw for quite a while, and then sometimes it will be hard to feel better and have the memories be less acute, but I don't know what it's like to lose a life-partner--I hope that sooner rather than later the stuff you shared makes you as happy as it makes you sad right now.

I was just thinking, "God, how much of this do you think they want to hear?" I must remember to reach out to people.

All of it that you want to share. All of that. We're here.

I am so sorry. This is awful. But people are here.

And while no one shares the same loss, a lot of us have had really difficult losses.