I don't have anything more to say than what others already have, so I'm just gonna sit over here sending supportive vibes your way.
'Potential'
Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I am so sad right now Connie, but the image of you giving him his Viking send off is so beautiful.
He was supposed to come home. He was supposed to beat this. I kept waiting for him to wake up. My last conversation was over a bad cell phone connection. Our 30-year conversation is done. But I promised him I'd be all right and I'd take care of myself. This is going to be so very hard.
He was supposed to. But you will get through this horrible time because you made each other strong. And the strength and love he gave you can be even stronger now. I am so sorry. Just so sorry.
Connie, there are no adequate words. You are a heroine for letting him go, and he is the legend he made of his life. But I'm so, so sorry for the parting. Peace to him, strength and comfort to you, and my deepest sympathies.
Oh, Connie. I'm weeping for you. We're here for you, anything we can do for you, we will.
I've been reading The Viking's fb page and am touched by the lovely stories of the young men he influenced through SCA and elsewise. He is so sincerely and deeply honored in their words, you get a sense of how much of an effect a noble, caring and passionate human can have on humanity.
What a wonderful legacy.
Connie, I'm so sorry
I've barely eaten in over 24 hours, but it's hard to make myself eat. I keep wanting to throw up, and I know I have to force myself to eat.
I think I'm going to go see Captain America again. I wish a fannish person were nearby that I could take with me. I've got people who would go with me, but I need a slightly more removed grief at the moment. I need a rent-a-geek.
I think I understand where agoraphobia comes from. My foundation is missing, and I'm afraid to step off the porch. I keep telling myself that these first few days are going to be the worst, that I am strong, I can live mostly on my own. But here in the middle of it, it's hard to breathe.
Would it be better with kids? I'd have people around me, but I'd be suffering their grief, too. We're having his wake in a couple of weeks.
Oh, how it sneaks up on you. To my sisters in this strange and horrible tribe, I'm sorry for making wounds new. But seeing that you've made it farther on this road is a comfort to me.
I'm sorry Connie. I wish one of us were closer to go to the movies with you.
Connie I'm so sorry. I just want to echo what everyone else has said.