...your ceiling....

Apparently, the Death Glares from the cat actually have been effective?

I have to go in for another ultrasound tomorrow. I can't even describe my level of don't want to.

Because Hubby had dental work yesterday and his admission got pushed back to Friday, he has to go in tomorrow to have all the tests from last Monday done again. The tests that had us up there for 11 hours. The tooth work was put off from the last time he had dental work done up there because we were told he had an hour and a half to get it done before his next test appointment. Which, when we got to that appointment, we were told, "Well, we like to get the patients in place so we can tell the doctor to come in. He'll be here in an hour."

The doctors and staff are terrific. The scheduling and front office people need uniformly slapped. I'm volunteering.

The doctors and staff are terrific. The scheduling and front office people need uniformly slapped.

This is the case with so many of my client practices. And the turnover is constant.

sj, wish I were closer to go with you and hold your hand. I'll hold you in my heart.

sj I'm glad you had time with VW, keep taking care of yourself.

Connie, I wish there was aweesome staff to with the awesome doctors.

Laura, TCG is going with me, but neither of us want to be back in that ultrasound room right now.

So I learned this past week that my brother's thought processes are completely alien to me. And that I'm not wrong he does take a detached, lecture-y, condsending tone when he talks to me.

I also learned that I don't think we'll ever be able to have a civil conversation that lasts more than 2 minutes.

Also he believes that anyone can change if they want to bad enough, everyone is motivated to change by painful consequences (I tried to say that someone could be motivated to change for positive reasons and he spun it to negative). He doesn't want my nephew to give up doing anything, I was explicitly told when we were playing Uno that I wasn't allowed to end hte game if he got bored because my brother doesn't want him learning he can just give up on something because he doesn't like it. Or something like that.

Talent isn't a real thing. And anyone can do anything they just need to stop thinking negatively and make a change.

And even though we don't talk he seems to know I'm completely unhealthy and I'm going to die young.

"Great. Then, I guess we're done." But I can be a bitch like that.

All that makes him sound like his ego is super defended--almost barricaded--against others/change/pain/whatever. Must be a lot of anxiety and pain to put up such a radical defense. I'm sorry his defenses end up hurting you too, but please know they are not about you, askye. You've done nothing wrong.

Burrell, I know that. I even tried to tell him that but it just got him frustrated because I was "trying to take responsiblity for something that wasn't about me" or I was making it all about me. I wasn't I was trying to say, our home life wasn't great, a lot of it had to do with my illness, my brother's feelings and emotions got shunted to the side and it sucks but it also informs how we react to things today.

But he told me that wasn't how he is. He doesn't let the past influence him.

We've agreed that it would be good if I regularly Skyped with my nephew and we're going to work on times and just start small. I'm hoping that will help.

I'm also going to find some information about the 2 chronic illnesses I deal with and email them to him so he can read them if he wants. If he doesn't then he doesn't.