Screw them sj. You just need to deal with you and TCG. And even with that, mostly YOU. Other people just need to be supportive and if they aren't, then they need to back off for a while.
Wash: I didn't think you were one for rituals and such. Mal: I'm not, but it'll keep the others busy for a while. No reason to concern them with what's to be done.
'Bushwhacked'
Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
SuziQ - Jun 13, 2014 8:26:03 am PDT #11333 of 30002
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame
Laura - Jun 13, 2014 8:27:26 am PDT #11334 of 30002
Our wings are not tired.
When my mom feels like crap but doesn't want to discuss it she always responds "I'm just peachy dewy" to our inquires of how she is feeling. At this point we know it means to lay off. You don't need the pressure of having to be okay for anyone else.
Feel what you feel and perhaps answer that you WILL BE fine and leave it future tense if you don't want to discuss it further.
Maria - Jun 13, 2014 8:28:39 am PDT #11335 of 30002
Not so nice is that I'm about to ruin a Friday morning for a bunch of people because of a series of unfortunate events and an upset foreign government. - shrift
What Suzi and Laura said. I'm sorry if I added to it.
meara - Jun 13, 2014 8:34:39 am PDT #11336 of 30002
I know it is fine to not be okay right now, but I still feel people are expecting me to reassure them that I'm fine.
Fuck them and their expectations. Not your problem! (...life would be easier if we could all manage that, eh?)
sj - Jun 13, 2014 8:37:45 am PDT #11337 of 30002
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
I'm sorry if I added to it.
What? No, absolutely not.
We're still doing Father's Day at our house. I really don't want to, but TCG does. I did however reschedule our theatre tickets for tomorrow to a couple of weeks from now because I don't have enough spoons for that too.
SuziQ - Jun 13, 2014 8:42:29 am PDT #11338 of 30002
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame
Laura - I've used the "will be" when I didn't have the spoons. If people pressed, they usually ended up with a teary Suzi and quickly learned to just leave it be.
Hil R. - Jun 13, 2014 8:51:55 am PDT #11339 of 30002
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
I know it is fine to not be okay right now, but I still feel people are expecting me to reassure them that I'm fine.
Reassuring other people is NOT your priority right now. It's not even close to the top of your list.
Fred Pete - Jun 13, 2014 8:54:07 am PDT #11340 of 30002
Ann, that's a ferret.
sj, you're going through major mess. Take care of yourself!
Other people can wait.
Nora Deirdre - Jun 13, 2014 9:34:00 am PDT #11341 of 30002
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)
I know it is fine to not be okay right now, but I still feel people are expecting me to reassure them that I'm fine.
What everyone else says. I like using the "No, but I will be" line to gently push people away and hopefully shut the conversation down.
This reminds me of the post that Allie Brosh did about depression after she came back to Hyperbole and a Half after a long hiatus:
I was also extremely ill-prepared for the position of comforting people. The things that seemed reassuring at the time weren't necessarily comforting for others...I had so very few feelings, and everyone else had so many, and it felt like they were having all of them in front of me at once. I didn't really know what to do, so I agreed to see a doctor so that everyone would stop having all of their feelings at me.
sj - Jun 13, 2014 9:38:05 am PDT #11342 of 30002
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Nora, I just read that book recently, and I love her writing about depression. But I never truly understood the numb/not feeling anything that she was talking about, until now. Usually my depression is all about the feeling too much.