Femme Friday was for queer people who identified as femme, not for straight women. Which made me wonder--what's the difference, if any, between identifying as femme and identifying as female? Is the wording significant?

I assumed that femme is one way of appearing female (very classically, stereotypically "feminine"). I guess the other end of the spectrum would be butch? Tomboy?

But I also would have thought a plain old straight woman could be femme or butch or anywhere in between.

ita, how is that hairstyle different from a charm bracelet? I think the appropriateness of a hairstyle may depend on how large those charms are. If they are small, you might not notice.

I assumed that femme is one way of appearing female (very classically, stereotypically "feminine")

I think it's just the word "identify" that's throwing me off. It's not a gender thing, or a sexuality thing, so the word feels really strong to me. Uh, you like lace and frills and may be male or female and aren't straight? That's the size of it?

how is that hairstyle different from a charm bracelet? I think the appropriateness of a hairstyle may depend on how large those charms are. If they are small, you might not notice.

The article didn't come with a picture, but just as described, I can't see her in this office, or many of the ones I've worked in (UCLA Medical being the only exception).

what if they are as small as beads? 3 decades ago, some Black woman wore beads at the end of their braids.

what if they are as small as beads? 3 decades ago, some Black woman wore beads at the end of their braids

3 decades ago *I* wore beads in my braids. But I still can't see them here, unless it was an executive and therefore pace-setter.

40 years of Yearbook photos - all in the same outfit.

I think it's just the word "identify" that's throwing me off. It's not a gender thing, or a sexuality thing, so the word feels really strong to me. Uh, you like lace and frills and may be male or female and aren't straight? That's the size of it?

Femme, historically, was sexuality thing. [link]

Femme, historically, was sexuality thing

But right now, do you have to be a lesbian to be femme?

I have been poking at the links in this article about the Penny Arcade writers [link] being offensive again and again and I'm really boggled by the (as-described) level of doubling down that went on. And, damn, I knew nothing of this shit.

Avoiding the femme thing which I have thoughts on but am boarding a plane soon...

I want low glycemic oatmeal cookies, Consuela! Recipe?

I could see the hairdo with beads/trinkets if they were small, didn't clink a lot, and she was not a white girl with bad dreads. Because that's mostly who I've seen that trinket look on. Women who shouldn't have that hair in the first place and can't seem to take care of it, and think patchouli substitutes for showers and deodorant.

I love the name Jumbleberry Grunt. It sounds like a Harry Potter character.

I plan to start using "Lazy Sonker" as an insult immediately.

I love both of those ideas and after reading that article last night seriously wanted some crisp.

I think it's just the word "identify" that's throwing me off. It's not a gender thing, or a sexuality thing, so the word feels really strong to me. Uh, you like lace and frills and may be male or female and aren't straight? That's the size of it?

Short answer, yes. Check out info at the femme conference. It includes friends who are cis gay men who do drag, and trans guys who identify as sissy, and are gay. (Both of those being friends of mine)

That said, generally straight cis girls don't feel a need to identify as "femme"--it's the default. The heterosexist patriarchal default, but still. It's a tradition in the lesbian community but also in part saying "I don't have to be your stereotype of a lesbian, I can be what I want".

...I'd have better thoughts when not on my ipad at a boarding gate.