I think it's just the word "identify" that's throwing me off. It's not a gender thing, or a sexuality thing, so the word feels really strong to me. Uh, you like lace and frills and may be male or female and aren't straight? That's the size of it?

Short answer, yes. Check out info at the femme conference. It includes friends who are cis gay men who do drag, and trans guys who identify as sissy, and are gay. (Both of those being friends of mine)

That said, generally straight cis girls don't feel a need to identify as "femme"--it's the default. The heterosexist patriarchal default, but still. It's a tradition in the lesbian community but also in part saying "I don't have to be your stereotype of a lesbian, I can be what I want".

...I'd have better thoughts when not on my ipad at a boarding gate.

When I think of straight girls identifying as femme, I think of Jilli, though, not anything default. It's definitely *way* closer to the factory setting we're expected to have, but still--lace and foof does raise an eyebrow, and I'd wager more women at this company (not IT) wear only pants than wear only skirts.

Okay, leaving office now.

Wait! if this [link] is a low-glycemic oatmeal recipe, my normal one is kinda close--I can bump the whole wheat flour content, and I'm not sure about adding tofu, but maybe nut butter.

I can imagine the trinket hairstyle in many of the places I've worked, but I've only worked for nonprofits, and in many cases I can't picture it in the administration side of things.

That said, generally straight cis girls don't feel a need to identify as "femme"--it's the default. The heterosexist patriarchal default, but still. It's a tradition in the lesbian community but also in part saying "I don't have to be your stereotype of a lesbian, I can be what I want".

There's definitely straight feminist reclaiming of femininity, but maybe not the actual term femme.

ION about me, I thought it was a nice day to walk home, but I was WRONG. So sweaty now.

Health ~ma doe Aunt Karen and Becca.

One of my friends describes herself as "high femme," and she's cis* but identifies as pansexual. (She is, however, not even remotely in Jilli's ballpark of commitment to an aesthetic and the execution of that aesthetic. She basically wears long hippie skirts and birkenstocks and has looooong curly hair and gets gel manicures. I would not call that "high femme.")

I am higher femme than that! Depending on what you mean by high. Maybe she means like high on pot??

I am higher femme than that! Depending on what you mean by high. Maybe she means like high on pot??

I think that *she* thinks she's femme as hell. Which is...you know, you can call yourself whatever you want, but that doesn't make it true.

And, in entirely UN-femme-ness, I need this t-shirt: [link] Too bad my income is about to evaporate.

Steph, is it mean that I laughed at your friend's version of "high femme"? I know I have a high bar for this, but really.