I was talking to a friend yesterday, who related the bedtime routine of other friends she visited recently.

Mom: It's time for bed. (7:30)

The two kids: (5 & 7 years old) Walk up stairs, brush their teeth, get into bed. Sleep.

Guests & parents: never moved from the table.

How is that even possible?

No books, no songs, no playtime, no conversation, no requests for water, no struggle. Just sleep.

I've worked with a lot of families and I can honestly say, I have never, ever heard this working before.

How is that even possible?

Depends on the kids, honestly. Just like some adults sleep more easily than others.

JZ used to babysit a kid (2 y.o.) who would just announce he was tired, take his blanket and go take a nap.

Yeah. I once babysat a nightmare toddler who punched me, said "Bed now" and immediately passed out. BUT, that was after, like 15 books and a monumental struggle over exactly where he'd go to sleep.

In the related scenario, I'm amazed that the parents don't indulge any routine and that they trust the kids so much as to not even move from their seats at bed time.

I think I might have control issues.

One of my nephews almost always puts himself to bed. He knows when he's done, he takes himself. The other can fall asleep on the way to bed, insisting on being up and he's almost 11. I can only wish I had their sleep control.

I think I might have control issues.

Oh, have you seen the "play the ball wherever the monkey drops it" story that's been going around? I actually thought of you when I saw it.

In the related scenario, I'm amazed that the parents don't indulge any routine and that they trust the kids so much as to not even move from their seats at bed time.

Perhaps, bonny, that IS the routine. Grace tells us when she is tired and she'd go to bed without routines, but I have to plug her into machines before I can feel comfortable with her sleeping.

We do sleep routines at our house. Brush teeth. Mark off calendar. Be told you are loved. Go to sleep. Noah will try to push it and get up once or twice about once every week or two. But that's it.

When I was a kid, I can remember being SUPER EXCITED that I get to go to sleep. I still feel that way.

play the ball wherever the monkey drops it

I had not heard about it until just now, but I love it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!

That philosophy was exactly my experience in the peace march, so I had to ask, where do my control issues really come out?

It sort of, but not really, surprised me to realize that it's only when I'm responsible for someone else. My dog. A child. A client. When it's just me, my response is totally different.

When it is just me, I really do play wherever the monkey drops the ball.

eta: Just the other day, I cracked myself up when I accidentally broke one of my favorite plates. In the old days, I'd have trembled and had a totally _scene_ in my head. In this case, I immediately began thinking up art projects for the two nearly perfect halves.

It reminds me of David Wilcox's Leave It Like It Is .

I've truly striven maintain that attitude about the stuff of life.

When I was a kid, I can remember being SUPER EXCITED that I get to go to sleep. I still feel that way.

I sure feel that way NOW.

my youngest sister always went to bed early - and still does. And she gets up early.

the middle sister is a bit more flexible- but tends toward the early to bed , early to rise.

As a kid, sleep seemed like a waste of time. As I grew older, I liked being awake when the rest of the house was sleeping. and I liked to sleep later.

I've learned to go to sleep earlier - but not before 11 is best - or I will wake up.

So I have a completely untested theory -- that there should be a bedtime and routine.. but going to bed does not have to mean instant sleep. It might mean books or music for some time before falling asleep. a quieting. I would have fought bedtime less if it meant books. but I have no kids so i am all theory

Mercy. I'd have given anything for peaceful sleep until my early 40's. No kidding.

Now, with the super squishy bed and blackout curtain. I'm in heaven.

And yet, I'm still up at 1am.

No biscuit, me.

Maybe I DO need a routine.