I was...19? Yeah. Had no idea who I wanted to be, let alone who I was. I had a whole career planned, a life without a SO, focused and single-minded. H snuck up on me, sandbagged me, and hard as I struggled for the better part of a year, the outcome was both foregone and inevitable.
We've been lucky enough to have life and growth paths relatively parallel--they do an outward curve--sometimes pretty far divergent--but eventually curve inward toward the other. I said years ago that neither of us is the person we married--though we carry that baggage, we both have changed and grown. But for the most part we've had the support, or the resistance--often as necessary--of the other.
I might have been happier if we'd parted at one of those overstressed and dislikeable points. But I'd be no stronger. And different. If I may quote: It ain't Ozzie and Harriet.
Hubby got evicted from his place a couple of months after we met, I offered him my floor to crash on. After a couple of weeks, it seemed very silly for him to leave the bed, and he's been there ever since. I never felt the need to get formally married to him, but landlords disagreed.
Hubs and I also moved in together about 7 months after we met. We've been together 22 years and, as I like to joke, we haven't killed each other yet.
Kathy, IIRC, several Buffistas have skulked their way to foreign nookie while traveling with parents. IJS.
Heh.
Actually, I'd be terrified if I did anything more than dance and/or flirt with someone. I haven't been on a date nor slept with someone in, oh, 25 years.
we haven't killed each other yet.
Hubby and I tell people that we got married so as to spare two perfectly nice other people the fate of being married to one of us.
Also, we say, "We won't get divorced. One of us may be starring in a murder trial, but there won't be a divorce. One day the cops may show up and find a nasty mess and two cats hiding on top of the bookshelves."
Fred, how is hubs doing? He was in the hospital, right?
I feel like the complete opposite. I got married at 19, had 2 kids, a dog, even a frickin picket fence. It took a long time being unhappy before I finally accepted the idea that I didn't have to stay in that relationship. I'm much happier now though I do get waves of loneliness. As much as I'd like to meet someone, I think I'm still in that rebuilding me stage and am not really ready. Who knows. Only time will tell.
Jilli, it's early. Perhaps they are still sleeping?
I am clinging to that faint hope, but I've been contacting the drummer/press person through various means for a week now. I suspect the band decided they didn't want to do the interview, and the drummer hasn't bothered to tell me.
sulk sulk sulk
Kathy, I think dancing and flirting with sexy foreigners is perfectly cromulent (and fun!) way to ease back in...if you want to.
I didn't get married till 25, and it's been just the two of us. There were some issues re: kids, but I was adamant that we were going to much more financially and living arrangements secure before bringing kids into the mix, and if it didn't happen by the time I hit 30, then it wasn't going to happen. I got a lot of pushback from in-laws, but being unmovable on that was the smartest thing I've done in this life. Trying to cope with pre-teens when Hubby's health collapsed would probably have broken me.
