A visible portion of women believe you're selling out the side if you don't actually burn the bra, so to speak.

Let me tell you, being a diehard feminist and *choosing* to ASK my male partner to hit me with things that go THWACK! is a mindfuck of gargantuan proportions. Intellectually, I am down with it. I own my sexuality and my kink and my desires. I ask for it, I *choose* it.

But there is a part of me that cringes and thinks it's horrific and that I am the biggest sellout to the patriarchy EVER.

Dang it, I was typing when msbelle posted.

Are things safe for you, msbelle? Could you call your parents if you need to, or is that too hard for them to deal with?

I am safe. I don't feel safe. They would make it worse.

I'm sorry, msbelle. I wish I could do something to help.

What -t said, msbelle. If things get worse, though, you will call someone for some help?

I'm so sorry, msbelle. Is there anything we can do, even as invisible not real friends?

I went back. We are both going to bed. Thanks.

msbelle, aargh. I can see how your parents wouldn't be any help in this situation. I wish I were closer. Is there any, *any* way your parents could help, without telling them the extent of what's going on? Is there anyone nearby you could call? I...I can't even brainstorm. I feel useless.

I would just call that feminism, but nobody asked me.

Have a look at the Jezebel article and its comments. That's why they had to name it special, because there are noisy people stating explicitly that the "choice" to wear heels isn't a choice, it's a symbol of oppression, and we aren't free to make that decision, and there's no way to free the action from its legacy.

So, no, I don't see anything wrong with choice feminism at all, which is why flea confused me so much. It's just stipulating a wide range of freedom, because some people apparently think there's equality in a limited range.

there is a part of me that cringes and thinks it's horrific and that I am the biggest sellout to the patriarchy EVER.

I would think that the woman you and meara were referring to who engages in race play had to come to terms with ten million tonnes of issues before she could let go and have the orgasms. I can't even imagine. Not even remotely.

I'm trying to think of the full racial analogues of choice feminism, and I can't wrap my head around all of what it would mean. For good or for ill.

Have a look at the Jezebel article and its comments. That's why they had to name it special, because there are noisy people stating explicitly that the "choice" to wear heels isn't a choice, it's a symbol of oppression, and we aren't free to make that decision, and there's no way to free the action from its legacy.

I'm going to go ahead and continue to ignore those people.

But there is a part of me that cringes and thinks it's horrific and that I am the biggest sellout to the patriarchy EVER.

Steph... I'm not as open about my sexuality as you are, and I value you for talking about it, so I just want to say, I guess, that I sympathize. The things I'm into, I can barely even discuss with myself, because I cringe at what it must mean about me.

I'm determined to avoid discussion of controversial topics now, because I'm tired of getting yelled at by the righteous. For a while I thought, I don't say what I want to say often enough, I censor myself too much. Now? Fuck it. Nobody needs to know what I think.