I don't know what to do.
You don't need to know. Sometimes you just have to keep moving forward. I'm glad you are able to go home.
And, really, you can flip out. It's some scary shit!
Simon: You are my beautiful sister. River: I threw up on your bed. Simon: Yep. Definitely my sister.
'War Stories'
Natter 69: Practically names itself.
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
lisah - Oct 10, 2011 6:03:38 pm PDT #1201 of 30001
Punishingly Intricate
Kat - Oct 10, 2011 6:03:53 pm PDT #1202 of 30001
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo
It's funny that the signing times dvds don't teach you mean things, like dumb or idiot. I should go look those up.
Grace won a sportsmanship award for soccer. Um? really? She pukes when she gets mad and doesn't want to play? That does not seem like good sportsmanship.
sarameg - Oct 10, 2011 6:05:24 pm PDT #1203 of 30001
Oh, ita. Much love for you. I'd even hug you if in proximity. Or encourage you to flip out on me.
sarameg - Oct 10, 2011 6:06:45 pm PDT #1204 of 30001
Sometimes, you just are. In the moment, no matter how bad it is.
le nubian - Oct 10, 2011 6:10:17 pm PDT #1205 of 30001
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."
hang in there ita.
I think it might be time (after you send the email) to take a shower and flip the fuck out there. don't hold it in and the beautiful thing about breaking down in the shower is that there is a finite amount of hot water. 15 minutes and my time is UP.
SuziQ - Oct 10, 2011 6:13:14 pm PDT #1206 of 30001
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame
it's ! if just putting one foot in front of the other is the most you can do, that is fine. It is ok to be at a loss. If work helps to distract you, great. If not, do nothing or just the bare minimum.
bon bon - Oct 10, 2011 6:21:48 pm PDT #1207 of 30001
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.
When are you leaving, ita? Want to go out for gimlets?
Theresa - Oct 10, 2011 6:38:20 pm PDT #1208 of 30001
"What would it take to get your daughter to stop tweeting about this?"
Much ~ma to ita and your mom.
Buffistas reaching out to me kept me sane when my mom was diagnosed. Two years ago I think. I'll be forever grateful and if you need anything, feel free to ping me.
§ ita § - Oct 10, 2011 6:55:49 pm PDT #1209 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Thanks, bon. I leave tomorrow at 7am. Work is done, so that's out of the way, but I gotta get packed and shit and shit. I wish I could do gimlets, but I'd just be a soppy mess who was panicking that she hadn't prepped to leave right.
Like, do I get a round-trip shuttle, or a one-way and rent a car at the airport that I'll end up returning locally? Nah, that has a $25 surcharge. Get a round trip. And rent from one of the dealerships within walking distance of my apartment. Well, that decision made itself. That's nice.
Now to find clothes.
Burrell - Oct 10, 2011 7:43:35 pm PDT #1210 of 30001
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
Ugh ita, I wish I had good advice, but it's all been said by others here so I'll send you love and strength and hope.
Going moment to moment because the big picture is too big and scary is sometimes the only way to make it through. The only way I've made it through some of the worst medical shit is to remember that this moment and then this moment and then this moment etc are all I need to handle.
This is very true. I've gotten through entire years on this basis, and while I won't say it was the best choice all the time, I did manage to take care of what needed to get done. The one thing I'd add is allow yourself to be cared for sometimes. You have many friends, myself included, who want to be useful. Or distracting.