between our different time zones and all the insomnia I'm pretty sure we have you covered around the clock

This. And what David and -t and everyone said, and the keep leaning parts are also very true.

Please, use, do and feel anything. We're here for that.

You are loved, and even if you're lost, we're here to help you figure out your way.

You wake up in the morning, part of your brain says, "Yesterday was so terrible, today has to be better, that horrible thing is in the past." But no. A little of the shocked numbness has faded, but the horrible thing is still there. And you know it's always going to be there.

Strength like a mountain, dearest. The surface will take a battering, but the core endures for nigh on forever.

Maria, I hate that words are so inadequate. I wish I could give you more comfort than this. But I'm so glad that there are so many people here pouring out love to you.

ChiKat, cats are experts at hiding pain. The tells in an otherwise healthy cat may be different than those of a cat who is ill. But I suspect the principle may carry over. What I have looked for in the past are changes - in eating and drinking, in litter box usage, energy level, sleeping habits, and vocalization habits, etc. I second the suggestion to talk to the vet about signs to look for, as to when there is too much pain and not enough good. It's such a difficult decision to have to make, but I do believe there will come a moment when you know it is time.

We had two cats go through relatively long-term declines. The main tell that I remember was hiding. Teddy really enjoyed snuggling with us, and Max was everybody's friend -- would meet people at the door, even. But at the end, both started hiding 24/7. We'd pick them up, bring them over to the couch or wherever we were, and they'd just jump down and go back to their hiding space.

Your vet can tell you a lot more, though. If only because your vet knows Mickey from regular visits. And if Mickey has an oncologist, that may be another good source of advice.

And all sympathies. It's an incredibly hard decision to have to make.

On the other end of the spectrum, our new puppy is settling in very nicely. he has slept through the night (or close to it) since we brought him home on Saturday--which I think is pretty rare with pups and I am VERY grateful for. He's a lovely little guy. Our poodle is still somewhat dubious of the whole idea, but other than some growling and lifting of the lip when Chet goes too far, like trying to get in bed with him, he's been behaving.

Aww, welcome home, Chet.

I decided today was "Take Your Frankie to Work" Day. He's curled up in a ray of sun. He's been mostly good except for begging food (I don't feed him people food) and sneaking out an open door (into a fenced yard, so he wouldn't have gotten far). He's so quiet, which is great, until he decides to take himself for a walk.

I saw my therapist today and I was a bawling stressed out mess. There's some legit issues but also just a feeling of being overwhelmed and tired of feeling sick.

She told me that my brain could be misinterpreting how I'm feeling as depression and so kicks in with all the depression thoughts and what not. She said this can happen with panic attacks - a person can run up a flight of stairs or exercise and have elevated heart rate and be out of breath and the brain goes "oh! I know this panic!" and kicks in with an anxiety attack.

So, I have that to deal with as well.

my brain could be misinterpreting how I'm feeling as depression

This was one of the most useful insights I ever got from a therapist - the idea that what I was feeling might not actually be depression, but something else that I either wasn't used to feeling in its proper context, or that I was more afraid of than depression. I have since realized that I internalize anger as depression and self-hate. Haven't yet figured out how too externalize the anger in a non-destructive way.

It makes sense, and it also explains why I get so emotional if I get overtired.

Yesterday I found myself caught in a loop of all these emotions and I hadn't really felt like that since I moved up here. A little bit, but mostly more recent stuff. Yesterday I was mentally digging up stuff from middle school and elementary school and beating myself up over it.