On the other end of the spectrum, our new puppy is settling in very nicely. he has slept through the night (or close to it) since we brought him home on Saturday--which I think is pretty rare with pups and I am VERY grateful for. He's a lovely little guy. Our poodle is still somewhat dubious of the whole idea, but other than some growling and lifting of the lip when Chet goes too far, like trying to get in bed with him, he's been behaving.

Aww, welcome home, Chet.

I decided today was "Take Your Frankie to Work" Day. He's curled up in a ray of sun. He's been mostly good except for begging food (I don't feed him people food) and sneaking out an open door (into a fenced yard, so he wouldn't have gotten far). He's so quiet, which is great, until he decides to take himself for a walk.

I saw my therapist today and I was a bawling stressed out mess. There's some legit issues but also just a feeling of being overwhelmed and tired of feeling sick.

She told me that my brain could be misinterpreting how I'm feeling as depression and so kicks in with all the depression thoughts and what not. She said this can happen with panic attacks - a person can run up a flight of stairs or exercise and have elevated heart rate and be out of breath and the brain goes "oh! I know this panic!" and kicks in with an anxiety attack.

So, I have that to deal with as well.

my brain could be misinterpreting how I'm feeling as depression

This was one of the most useful insights I ever got from a therapist - the idea that what I was feeling might not actually be depression, but something else that I either wasn't used to feeling in its proper context, or that I was more afraid of than depression. I have since realized that I internalize anger as depression and self-hate. Haven't yet figured out how too externalize the anger in a non-destructive way.

It makes sense, and it also explains why I get so emotional if I get overtired.

Yesterday I found myself caught in a loop of all these emotions and I hadn't really felt like that since I moved up here. A little bit, but mostly more recent stuff. Yesterday I was mentally digging up stuff from middle school and elementary school and beating myself up over it.

The main tell that I remember was hiding.

I had forgotten this. The cats in my life have done this as well when it was time.

It makes sense, and it also explains why I get so emotional if I get overtired.

I have to really work on my self-talk to not have a meltdown if I'm overtired or haven't eaten (or just haven't eaten protein) or any number of things. It will be End Of The World time, until I stop and look at what else is going on.

Just identifying that I need to eat doesn't necessarily *stop* the overwhelming emotion, but it can help to slow it down long enough for me to get lunch.

The main tell that I remember was hiding.

Sometimes dogs do this too.

What I have looked for in the past are changes - in eating and drinking, in litter box usage, energy level, sleeping habits, and vocalization habits, etc.

Ugh. I have some of this going on in my household. She is a very old lady, poor girl.

No hiding though. Polar opposite. You can't make this cat go away. She's like a yowly little Terminator; it doesn't matter what you do, she Just Keeps Coming.

ETA: I say that with affection, but damn.

Thinking of you, Maria.