I don't know how much I've changed in my relationship with Will. I know there have been some changes but it hasn't been so much to my core. I don't know how much is being with Will and how much is other changes going on in my life.

Of course we had the added bit of being long distance. But I'm getting better at communicating. I know when we're together I get a bit calmer and less scattered and it's easier just to be... me.

I am so sick of being sick. I just want to be able to breathe!

I don't know how much I've changed in my relationship with Will.

You moved to another state in an entirely different part of the country.

You moved to another state in an entirely different part of the country.

That doesn't have to mean she's changed. Just that her circumstances have,

Which isn't to say I don't think you have changed, askye. Just that moving has nothing to do with it.

I did do that, and it's something that I've wanted to do for...well since high school. So he helped me get to that point.

You know, currently with my therapist she's working on helping me see me for who I am now, rather than the person I was.

It's not so much that I've fundamentally changed but I feel like I'm peeling away all this negative layers wrapped around who I "really" am and it's starting to shine through.

Will has been a help in that but someone else might have been too.

In other news I see my new shrink tomorrow. I hope I like him (or her don't remember) things are going well with the new therapist. I might even be open to medication changes. I know moving is HUGE and GIANT but besides that I think I've been in a rut emotionally and I need to change.

I'm peeling away all this negative layers wrapped around who I "really" am and it's starting to shine through.

That's such a great feeling.

My point way back was that I don't think the core of you ever really changes. I think I'm the same person childhood formed, all these years later. But I have learned more about who I am, and why I am that way, and I've developed new interests and changed habits and behaviors.

I think that's an essential part of aging, though, relationship of not. And when it comes to relationships, I don't think my quick temper has changed -- but my skill at controlling it has. I still feel the flare of anger, but I don't have to blurt it out anymore. (As one example.)

I think a huge thing that my relationship with Tom has done for me is given me an ally and support in my setting boundaries with my family members which led to my growth in working on issues related to being a child of alcoholics. I didn't have the strength to do that before. I didn't even know how.

I feel like I'm peeling away all this negative layers wrapped around who I "really" am and it's starting to shine through.

That is so awesome to read.

Budget stuff - still making my brain hurt. Spent an hour last night messing with numbers, and about 45 minutes tonight. Futz futz futz. Change a number here, tweak an amount there. Still feeling way better about the whole situation. Gonna be tight for a while.