Oops
I'm so sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my fun-time-Buffy party night involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window, so if you want to trade... no wait, I wouldn't give up that memory for anything.
Buffy ,'Get It Done'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Burrell - Nov 16, 2011 10:43:55 am PST #2923 of 30001
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
Toddson - Nov 16, 2011 10:57:47 am PST #2924 of 30001
Friends don't let friends read "Atlas Shrugged"
The one serious relationship I've been in persisted when - and only as long as - I suppressed a large portion of my personality. The part that comes out to play with the Buffistas. When I started growing up and letting that part of myself show, he hated it. And tried to force me back to being the person he wanted. It ended badly.
§ ita § - Nov 16, 2011 10:59:34 am PST #2925 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Or at least for myself, I think that not all relationships change a person.
That's quite simply my point. Which contradicts Scrappy and Laura's point.
I think you might be putting too much moral claim on the word "change" here
What does "moral claim" mean?
Atropa - Nov 16, 2011 11:02:15 am PST #2926 of 30001
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
Bev, I love your explanation and metaphor, and during some of the bad days, I cling to it.
Atropa - Nov 16, 2011 11:04:46 am PST #2927 of 30001
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
To offer my own experience: Pete and I do try to change for each other. He's working on being less of a pessimist, I'm working on being less of a scatterbrain. And while there are days when I idly think about slipping Xanax into his coffee, or running away from everything for a life of crime, we love each other and make each other better than we would be alone. I can't really picture my life without him in it.
Scrappy - Nov 16, 2011 11:15:17 am PST #2928 of 30001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
I think all close relationships change you, ita. The deeper you let folks in, usually, the more the probability of change. My close friendships with women have changed me as well--even if it's just because I get regularly called on my shit.
What may be confusing you is that to me, "change" doesn't have to be huge. Jason hasn't turned me into a different person. I'm still me, but I am now a me who rides motorcycles and who has two dogs. Those are pretty obvious changes. The other sorts of changes are harder to quantify--I am less defensive because he spots it when I get that way and won't engage. He is very hard on himself and I know I give him a more realistic view of how he comes across.("You did not talk too much and I know he understood you were teasing him and is not angry with you").
§ ita § - Nov 16, 2011 11:43:24 am PST #2929 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
What may be confusing you
It's not confusing me. I just don't agree. I think some do, and some don't, is all.
Scrappy - Nov 16, 2011 12:18:48 pm PST #2930 of 30001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
It's not confusing me. I just don't agree. I think some do, and some don't, is all.
Ah, sorry I misunderstood. And I agree.
Toddson - Nov 16, 2011 12:41:52 pm PST #2931 of 30001
Friends don't let friends read "Atlas Shrugged"
um, huh? (has this been posted here before? 'cause if not, it should have been)
Nora Deirdre - Nov 16, 2011 12:56:33 pm PST #2932 of 30001
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)
I'm definitely a better version of me with Tom. I don't know why, but I am.
That's all I have since I am still braindead from jetlag and emotional hangover.