I'm peeling away all this negative layers wrapped around who I "really" am and it's starting to shine through.

That's such a great feeling.

My point way back was that I don't think the core of you ever really changes. I think I'm the same person childhood formed, all these years later. But I have learned more about who I am, and why I am that way, and I've developed new interests and changed habits and behaviors.

I think that's an essential part of aging, though, relationship of not. And when it comes to relationships, I don't think my quick temper has changed -- but my skill at controlling it has. I still feel the flare of anger, but I don't have to blurt it out anymore. (As one example.)

I think a huge thing that my relationship with Tom has done for me is given me an ally and support in my setting boundaries with my family members which led to my growth in working on issues related to being a child of alcoholics. I didn't have the strength to do that before. I didn't even know how.

I feel like I'm peeling away all this negative layers wrapped around who I "really" am and it's starting to shine through.

That is so awesome to read.

Budget stuff - still making my brain hurt. Spent an hour last night messing with numbers, and about 45 minutes tonight. Futz futz futz. Change a number here, tweak an amount there. Still feeling way better about the whole situation. Gonna be tight for a while.

Hi, Nora, love. Let me know when you and Tom are up for some social time, would love to see you. Even a cuppa or something.

The fundraiser is tomorrow night- after that we should be good to socialize. Ugh, I'll have to socialize and do stuff tomorrow.

Best of luck with the fundraiser! I am supporting in spirit, if nothing else.

My point way back was that I don't think the core of you ever really changes. I think I'm the same person childhood formed, all these years later. But I have learned more about who I am, and why I am that way, and I've developed new interests and changed habits and behaviors.

This reminds me of how my greatest fear, when I was about to graduate high school and go off to college, was that I would turn into someone else -- that I'd change so much that I'd no longer recognize myself, or that I'd become someone that HS me wouldn't like. (I don't know why this particular fear lodged so firmly in my brain.) But then I looked back after finishing college, and I realized that I was still the same person, just... more so. I'd changed quite a bit, but it was still *me* that had gone through those changes, not someone else.

Maybe this is stating the super obvious, but it felt like a real revelation at the time: Hey! I'm still me!

Maybe this is stating the super obvious, but it felt like a real revelation at the time: Hey! I'm still me!

I wrote this concern down in my high school journal. I guess there's some sense in late adolescence that you're in a state of flux.

I don't want to interrupt this conversation, because I've really been enjoying reading it, but I've had this sitting on my chest all day, and I need to get it out:

My brother told me today that the restaurant will not be reopening. Basically, they're kind of screwed by all the FEMA requirements (the brewery was in the basement of the building, and it's the only place they can really put it, and they're not allowed to have it there on rebuilding), and they aren't getting as much from insurance as they hoped, and the owners are already in huge debt.

They still have the separate cannery facility (which opened the same week as the hurricane), and are going to expand it slightly, so he has a job, but that's really not the point.

It's kind of a sucking chest wound. My bro is fine, but it's still such a fucking loss.

Ugh. Perspective-wise, he has a job, the owners still have the cannery, but -- it just really sucks.

That does really suck, Steph.