I did do that, and it's something that I've wanted to do for...well since high school. So he helped me get to that point.

You know, currently with my therapist she's working on helping me see me for who I am now, rather than the person I was.

It's not so much that I've fundamentally changed but I feel like I'm peeling away all this negative layers wrapped around who I "really" am and it's starting to shine through.

Will has been a help in that but someone else might have been too.

In other news I see my new shrink tomorrow. I hope I like him (or her don't remember) things are going well with the new therapist. I might even be open to medication changes. I know moving is HUGE and GIANT but besides that I think I've been in a rut emotionally and I need to change.

I'm peeling away all this negative layers wrapped around who I "really" am and it's starting to shine through.

That's such a great feeling.

My point way back was that I don't think the core of you ever really changes. I think I'm the same person childhood formed, all these years later. But I have learned more about who I am, and why I am that way, and I've developed new interests and changed habits and behaviors.

I think that's an essential part of aging, though, relationship of not. And when it comes to relationships, I don't think my quick temper has changed -- but my skill at controlling it has. I still feel the flare of anger, but I don't have to blurt it out anymore. (As one example.)

I think a huge thing that my relationship with Tom has done for me is given me an ally and support in my setting boundaries with my family members which led to my growth in working on issues related to being a child of alcoholics. I didn't have the strength to do that before. I didn't even know how.

I feel like I'm peeling away all this negative layers wrapped around who I "really" am and it's starting to shine through.

That is so awesome to read.

Budget stuff - still making my brain hurt. Spent an hour last night messing with numbers, and about 45 minutes tonight. Futz futz futz. Change a number here, tweak an amount there. Still feeling way better about the whole situation. Gonna be tight for a while.

Hi, Nora, love. Let me know when you and Tom are up for some social time, would love to see you. Even a cuppa or something.

The fundraiser is tomorrow night- after that we should be good to socialize. Ugh, I'll have to socialize and do stuff tomorrow.

Best of luck with the fundraiser! I am supporting in spirit, if nothing else.

My point way back was that I don't think the core of you ever really changes. I think I'm the same person childhood formed, all these years later. But I have learned more about who I am, and why I am that way, and I've developed new interests and changed habits and behaviors.

This reminds me of how my greatest fear, when I was about to graduate high school and go off to college, was that I would turn into someone else -- that I'd change so much that I'd no longer recognize myself, or that I'd become someone that HS me wouldn't like. (I don't know why this particular fear lodged so firmly in my brain.) But then I looked back after finishing college, and I realized that I was still the same person, just... more so. I'd changed quite a bit, but it was still *me* that had gone through those changes, not someone else.

Maybe this is stating the super obvious, but it felt like a real revelation at the time: Hey! I'm still me!