{{{Maria}}}
Sorry I don't have more than that. I'm a little Vicodin-loopy now. Everything hurts. And the medicine seems to be doing more to make me loopy than to make the pain go away. I just found Paper Moon on On Demand, so I'm watching that.
But that's just my point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!
Wash ,'War Stories'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Hil R. - Apr 24, 2013 3:51:26 pm PDT #29328 of 30001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
Connie Neil - Apr 24, 2013 4:41:37 pm PDT #29329 of 30001
brillig
Sometimes drugs just make you not care that you hurt.
smonster - Apr 24, 2013 5:16:04 pm PDT #29330 of 30001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.
Maria, my love, you would never judge any of us as harshly as you are judging yourself. You certainly didn't judge me so harshly when I stayed in a job I hated for EIGHT years, depressed and hating myself and dating someone who treated me terribly.
You can keep pushing yourself harder and harder, it's true. I don't know that it will silence the negative voices in your head more than temporarily.
Vulnerability isn't weakness. Self-compassion isn't self-pity. Beating yourself up isn't discipline. Grief isn't failure. Doubt isn't betrayal.
If none of this is what you need to hear, than feel free to tell me to shove it and please forgive me for sticking my foot in it. I love you very much and I want you to be happy, and it pains me to see you beating up on yourself like this.
JenP - Apr 24, 2013 5:16:06 pm PDT #29331 of 30001
Vicodin has such a happy effect on me. It doesn't make me loopy or sleepy. Just makes the world pleasant. So weird. Too bad it's not something I can take just because.
Vulnerability isn't weakness. Self-compassion isn't self-pity. Beating yourself up isn't discipline. Grief isn't failure. Doubt isn't betrayal.
That's some widely applicable good thinking, that is.
Trudy Booth - Apr 24, 2013 5:26:24 pm PDT #29332 of 30001
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
I should probably tattoo that on my face.
Ginger - Apr 24, 2013 5:37:00 pm PDT #29333 of 30001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
Unloveable, unwanted, and slightly worthless.
I have no idea who you're describing. This is not the Maria I know. As for bravery, my definition is fall down seven times, get up eight.
Amy - Apr 24, 2013 5:37:12 pm PDT #29334 of 30001
Because books.
Seriously, I need that on a poster I can hang up to look at every day. Excellent words, smonster.
Sue - Apr 24, 2013 5:40:08 pm PDT #29335 of 30001
hip deep in pie
Vulnerability isn't weakness. Self-compassion isn't self-pity. Beating yourself up isn't discipline. Grief isn't failure. Doubt isn't betrayal.
Beautiful smonster.
Atropa - Apr 24, 2013 5:44:06 pm PDT #29336 of 30001
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
Vulnerability isn't weakness. Self-compassion isn't self-pity. Beating yourself up isn't discipline. Grief isn't failure. Doubt isn't betrayal.
So, so true. And (speaking from my own perspective), so much easier to believe on the behalf of other people than applying it to myself.
WindSparrow - Apr 24, 2013 6:20:19 pm PDT #29337 of 30001
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
Yes, but on days like today it's tough. Fine, I go to the gym 5 days a week, but am I actually working to my full capacity each time? Yes, I'm uprooting my life and moving from the place I've spent the majority of my life, but am I pushing hard enough to get out of here as quickly as possible?
Unless you are a professional athlete so that your living and your team depend on you being at 100% all the time, just getting off your butt is a win. Modest amounts of exercise done consistently are of value to your health. As for going full throttle in other areas of your life, it seems to me that no engine can sustain running redline indefinitely. You sound like you are feeling stuck, like you are getting ready to gnaw a limb off to get out of some trap. But if the trap is your expectations of our (or any other friends') expectations of you... I dunno... It just seems like a recursion loop, or a Chinese finger trap.