le n, you said exactly what I was going to say.

And Windsparrow said exactly what I was going to say.

The first thought that came to my mind was having the girls organize a rota of food and errands, then have them ask their parents/church/clubs to participate.

That way, the folks who react right away and can overwhelm with support have a day in the future they know will be theirs.

I also love the garden/tree idea. My friend K who died 3 years ago was the local gardener. So, SO loved and missed. Her partner and a few others organized an effort to take over a small plot of land across from her house.

It is lovely and simple and so perfect.

She had a beautiful image of a modern wrought iron fence on her business card and the team had a specialist recreate the fence around her garden. Every time I see it, it makes me smile and tear up. Just perfect.

Aimee - I really recommend this book Tear Soup [link]

It explains the process of grieving, especially in terms of a sudden death. It may help Emeline and the other girls in your troop understand what is going on.

I agree with Le Nubian, to check in with the family and see what they need in a few months.

Still, he's home. And I feel it is where he belongs right now. I'm just glad Dad is home.

It's weird how its a relief to get them back in any form at all, but it is, isn't it?

Those are all really good ideas. I like the flower idea for sentiment, and the chores rota for practicality.

Are you sure you didn't check the "Installment Plan" box?

I...may have. My right hand has turned out to be an Evil Hand, so it may have been up to surreptitious mayhem. And my left arm is a cyborg arm, so I am anticipating all-out hand war any day now.

Many hugs for you, Cass.

Basically, all I have to do when he dies is call a number, and they come get him. It's a little unnerving, but I appreciate the efficiency on their part and the altruism on his part.

This was my MiL's plan, she donated her body to science. I have mixed feelings about it after all this time, but it's what she wanted.

Aims, I am so, so sorry for Z and her family. Also for you and Em, because they're your friends.

I'll echo what everyone else said about immediate vs. long-term help. I was overwhelmed at the beginning, but then it fell off like a brick. Arguably, when I needed it more. Don't forget about them after the immediate shock and a few months have passed. I was so grateful to the core group (including everyone here) that kept doing stuff--large and small--long after the funeral was over and everyone else faded back into their own lives.

And we've got his remains back now.

Rob was cremated. I absolutely could not deal with having the cremains in the house. Freaked me the fuck out. I think it would have even been this way if I hadn't been the one to find him. His parents have him, and honestly that's probably the way he wanted it. It's not going to bring him back, but I have a few things to remember him by, and the good memories. I try not to dwell on the bad stuff as much as possible because it just keeps me from moving forward.

In a case of 'be careful of what you ask for', I am now the precinct captain for the upcoming special election.

If I'm gonna do it, I'm glad to begin with a much smaller event than the presidential.

More than anything, I'm proud that the Board of Elections did the right thing by getting rid of a bad employee.

We'll see if I can do better!

Aims, I'm so sorry to hear about Z's loss. It's wonderful that you're going to have the scouts do something for them.

I think I have a uti now. So I get to go to the lab and then wait 2 days for the results to get treatment.

I think I have a uti now.

I started to suspect I have a UTI last week. But then I got my tooth implant Friday, and the dentist prescribed (yet more) antibiotics after the procedure. So I figured that even if I do have a UTI, either (1) the dental antibiotic might cure it, or (2) I don't want to take 2 antibiotics at a time, so I'm going to have to wait until the dental antibiotics are finished to see the doctor about the UTI.

I also have a cold and a migraine today. I expect to spontaneously burst into flames any time now.

my grandmother's cremains are interred (?) in a place on the east coast. my other grandmother's cremains are buried in the midwest.

When I go, I want to be burned up and my ashes distributed in the Pacific Ocean. maybe in a little boat.