First she sent me a really nasty FB message which I copied and printed. Then she had him call me and ask/tell me a bunch of weird over the top things about changing Sammy's last name (to not be his). I Hung up when she started yelling. Then today I was texting him trying to figure out what was going on when at some point she took his phone, started texting and them called me and stared yelling again. I've been thinking about a restraining order. I don't really want to go to the trouble (filing with the police, a hearing) because the whole thing is embarrassing. But I may have to do it. In my mind, I'm thinking that if she calls again, I'll have to go file. Because I made it clear that I don't want her to call again.

Stephanie, you very much do not suck.

Something that does suck? The technical writing at my work place. You'd think that with people whose entire job is writing SOP's and mission statements and such that we wouldn't end up with a mission statement (sorry, new terminology: "VISION - what future we want to create") that reads: "Our vision is to serve a community that trusts every public safety call is answered quickly and results in the best possible response."

Ok, it's not technically WRONG, but it's so poorly scuplted as to make my brain hurt.

You know what? Embarrassing it may be, but better to deal with the momentary embarrassment than deal with lifelong harassment. You don't deserve that. You don't deserve any of this, and the fact that you made decisions you wish you hadn't has nothing to do with it. This is basic human interaction. It's too bad she's responding poorly to this. He should have told her up front, apparently. But it's absolutely nothing to do with you, other than in how it affects the quality of your and Sammy's life. The fact is that her boyfriend is Sammy's father, and that's just too bad for her. You may have made mistakes that got you to this place, but here in this place you are, and it's not a bad place.

Stephanie,

I know it is embarrassing, but he must control her or you need to have this crap documented if he can't. How would you feel safe to have your son in her presence if she can't get a grip? I'm serious about this.

Also, you may want to get a mediator to set out contractually what your communication patterns will be. I don't know what her damage is: does she think you want him back? Does she understand you like this situation no more than she does?

Was this his GF the whole time or is she new to the picture?

Oh God, Stephanie. I'm so sorry. This is the last kind of drama you need right now.

Get the restraining order. There is no rationalizing crazy.

{{{{{Buffistas}}}}}}}

Stephanie, you're a lawyer so you probably don't need to hear this, but document, document, document. Everything.

The girlfriend is the crazy one. Possibly Sammy's father, depending on how serious he let things get before telling girlfriend about Sammy. But definitely not you.

Can I send you some virtual popcorn?

It's just so trashy and embarrassing....it just makes me feel dumb. And alone.

Never alone.

Also, fuck cancer. My friend who detoured her trip from Texas to Tennessee through Atlanta to drive me home for Christmas has some type of metastatic cancer. They're still trying to track down the source, which is meaning weeks of not knowing anything about how serious it really is.

Ugh Ginger, what a nightmare for her!

Thank you, everyone. Fred, I think you are so right about documenting. Thankfully, the lawyer in me has made me scan everything.

I thought I would just share with everyone that while all that craziness did happen yesterday, I also got my period this morning. Which I should know, after 25 years, that whenever I find myself saying "I suck", 99% of the time, my period is due in a day or two. Chemistry is amazingly powerful.