Those of you who prefer to be the caretaker and are kind of strong and maybe a bit stubborn, is there a good way to support you without being annoying?

Personally, I like just knowing someone's THERE if I need something. If I'm sick or injured, mostly I just want to rest. I don't like being fussed over, or constantly asked if I need anything or do I want this or that. If I want something, I'll ask for it. (Major pet peeve is a caretaker who won't bring me what I ask for, or who isn't actually available. If I have to scream or bang on the floor to get their attention, I'd rather be alone. I'm sure you don't go to a room on another floor at the opposite end of the house and play loud video games when you're caretaking, though.)

I have thrown crutches down the stairs and scooted down on my butt more than once. I never really got the hang of down.

Hell, I use them day in and out, and there are stairs that are just too damn hard to do on crutches (like the ones to the catwalks) and I will scoot down on my bum. I figure, one way or the other, I'll end up on the floor, might was well do it in a controlled manner, rather than falling down them. Circular stairs are just plain impossible, if they are super tight spiral. And escalators have twisted both my ankles (on different occassions), so I've learned to avoid like the plague.

Sometimes you just have to let them struggle, no matter how much you want to help. If they're not in danger of causing harm to themselves and if you know the injury to their pride would outweigh the help, let them be. I've watched Hubby catch himself as he gets out of chairs and grimace in pain, but I know the last thing he wants is for his wife to prop him up. Given that, he will sometimes ask for help if his balance is too off kilter and he just needs a bracing point. I count that as a win and I don't make a big deal of it.

Random hivemind question -more of a Jilli question - does anyone know of an online Swedish store that sells corsets? I know someone who is in Sweden and looking for an underbust corset.

askye, I don't know of anyplace specifically in Sweden, but Restyle.pl is in Poland, and thus may have better shipping prices for them than anyplace based in the US/UK.

My big sis came down to visit for the weekend, and she just left to go home. Now I haz a sad. I wish I saw her more than a few times a year.

Yeah, our musician buddy just left from his weeklong recording session and I miss him already.

Keep in mind- a lot of any vibes you're getting off him are not about you, they're about him. It's very, very tough to be dependent on someone else, and in requires a mindset change that may take some time.

He'll work it out. Just keep being awesome. He does appreciate what you are doing, he just wishes like hell (for many many reasons) that it wasn't necessary.

Keep in mind- a lot of any vibes you're getting off him are not about you, they're about him. It's very, very tough to be dependent on someone else, and in requires a mindset change that may take some time.

I second this. As dependent as I often am on people, I still hate it and often resent the person offering it, as much as I may love them. I say let him ask for what he needs rather than forcing your help on him. Also, try to avoid any type of guilt about what he is or isn't doing to get better. Not that I think you would do either of these things intentionally, but even well meaning people do them without knowing it sometimes. Also, what others said about going down stairs with crutches being hard; I always feel like gravity is going to take over and I'm going to fall.

Thanks Jilli i'll let her know.