I say let him ask for what he needs rather than forcing your help on him.
And if you haven't been doing this already, then tell him you're switching over, so he knows it's ok to ask for things, and that you're not going to interfere unless he does.
Don't belong. Dangerous, like you. Can't be controlled. Can't be trusted. Everyone could just go on without me and not have to worry. People could be what they wanted to be. Could be with the people they wanted. Live simple. No secrets.
River ,'Objects In Space'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Liese S. - Nov 05, 2012 5:57:39 am PST #22347 of 30001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."
Laura - Nov 05, 2012 6:45:53 am PST #22348 of 30001
Our wings are not tired.
I am often unsure whether to pick up an item dropped for someone or let them get it themselves. I personally love being fussed over and waited on, but it is a rare occasion. My default method with others is to let them know I am there to help as they need, then resist the temptation to take over. Mostly I have had to help with physical rehab situations where the patient really needed to do as much as possible.
smonster - Nov 05, 2012 6:46:06 am PST #22349 of 30001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.
Thank you, thank you, my wonderful hivemind. I needed all of that feedback.
Liese S. - Nov 05, 2012 6:48:45 am PST #22350 of 30001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."
I know it's hard, smonster. The SO mostly just wants to be left alone, and I want to be catered to. He gets apologetic when he has to ask for stuff and then I get cranky because he keeps apologizing. I'm not the best caregiver for a care-resistant dude! But I know I'm also not the best patient, so I try to be phlegmatic about it no matter how it goes down.
Laura - Nov 05, 2012 6:51:17 am PST #22351 of 30001
Our wings are not tired.
I do indeed know both 'Wait On Me' types (me), and 'I Can Do It Myself' types (big sister). Usually people know what type they are and you can just ask them.
sj - Nov 05, 2012 6:51:22 am PST #22352 of 30001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
smonster, I hope it helps.
Does anyone here want some chewy jolly ranchers? That's all that is left of our Halloween candy, and there are quite a few of them. They're just going to go to waste here.
smonster - Nov 05, 2012 7:56:00 am PST #22353 of 30001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.
I checked in via email reflecting some of y'all's suggestions and all is good. We are working it out. He is just a total sweetie, which is so nice. He's got an ortho appt for tomorrow afternoon.
sj, I bought 1/2 price Halloween candy and the Willy Wonka mix has all this Laffy Taffy in it. I feel your chewy candy pain.
Zenkitty - Nov 05, 2012 11:39:20 am PST #22354 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
Oh, fuck me. I just found *exactly* the jeans I want, and they don't come in plus sizes. Comfort waistband! But not for you, fatty! You don't deserve to be comfortable! Lose some weight and then we'll let you have comfy clothes! Until then, SUFFER! Fuck you!
omnis_audis - Nov 05, 2012 11:49:44 am PST #22355 of 30001
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir
Ugg. It's only Monday of a very long week, and I think I'm out of spoons already. This isn't good. Blargh.
Scrappy - Nov 05, 2012 11:53:02 am PST #22356 of 30001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Zen--do you know about Duluth Trading Company? I have had great luck with their jeans. [link]