Keep in mind- a lot of any vibes you're getting off him are not about you, they're about him. It's very, very tough to be dependent on someone else, and in requires a mindset change that may take some time.

I second this. As dependent as I often am on people, I still hate it and often resent the person offering it, as much as I may love them. I say let him ask for what he needs rather than forcing your help on him. Also, try to avoid any type of guilt about what he is or isn't doing to get better. Not that I think you would do either of these things intentionally, but even well meaning people do them without knowing it sometimes. Also, what others said about going down stairs with crutches being hard; I always feel like gravity is going to take over and I'm going to fall.

Thanks Jilli i'll let her know.

I say let him ask for what he needs rather than forcing your help on him.

And if you haven't been doing this already, then tell him you're switching over, so he knows it's ok to ask for things, and that you're not going to interfere unless he does.

I am often unsure whether to pick up an item dropped for someone or let them get it themselves. I personally love being fussed over and waited on, but it is a rare occasion. My default method with others is to let them know I am there to help as they need, then resist the temptation to take over. Mostly I have had to help with physical rehab situations where the patient really needed to do as much as possible.

Thank you, thank you, my wonderful hivemind. I needed all of that feedback.

I know it's hard, smonster. The SO mostly just wants to be left alone, and I want to be catered to. He gets apologetic when he has to ask for stuff and then I get cranky because he keeps apologizing. I'm not the best caregiver for a care-resistant dude! But I know I'm also not the best patient, so I try to be phlegmatic about it no matter how it goes down.

I do indeed know both 'Wait On Me' types (me), and 'I Can Do It Myself' types (big sister). Usually people know what type they are and you can just ask them.

smonster, I hope it helps.

Does anyone here want some chewy jolly ranchers? That's all that is left of our Halloween candy, and there are quite a few of them. They're just going to go to waste here.

I checked in via email reflecting some of y'all's suggestions and all is good. We are working it out. He is just a total sweetie, which is so nice. He's got an ortho appt for tomorrow afternoon.

sj, I bought 1/2 price Halloween candy and the Willy Wonka mix has all this Laffy Taffy in it. I feel your chewy candy pain.

Oh, fuck me. I just found *exactly* the jeans I want, and they don't come in plus sizes. Comfort waistband! But not for you, fatty! You don't deserve to be comfortable! Lose some weight and then we'll let you have comfy clothes! Until then, SUFFER! Fuck you!