Sometimes you just have to let them struggle, no matter how much you want to help. If they're not in danger of causing harm to themselves and if you know the injury to their pride would outweigh the help, let them be. I've watched Hubby catch himself as he gets out of chairs and grimace in pain, but I know the last thing he wants is for his wife to prop him up. Given that, he will sometimes ask for help if his balance is too off kilter and he just needs a bracing point. I count that as a win and I don't make a big deal of it.

Random hivemind question -more of a Jilli question - does anyone know of an online Swedish store that sells corsets? I know someone who is in Sweden and looking for an underbust corset.

askye, I don't know of anyplace specifically in Sweden, but Restyle.pl is in Poland, and thus may have better shipping prices for them than anyplace based in the US/UK.

My big sis came down to visit for the weekend, and she just left to go home. Now I haz a sad. I wish I saw her more than a few times a year.

Yeah, our musician buddy just left from his weeklong recording session and I miss him already.

Keep in mind- a lot of any vibes you're getting off him are not about you, they're about him. It's very, very tough to be dependent on someone else, and in requires a mindset change that may take some time.

He'll work it out. Just keep being awesome. He does appreciate what you are doing, he just wishes like hell (for many many reasons) that it wasn't necessary.

Keep in mind- a lot of any vibes you're getting off him are not about you, they're about him. It's very, very tough to be dependent on someone else, and in requires a mindset change that may take some time.

I second this. As dependent as I often am on people, I still hate it and often resent the person offering it, as much as I may love them. I say let him ask for what he needs rather than forcing your help on him. Also, try to avoid any type of guilt about what he is or isn't doing to get better. Not that I think you would do either of these things intentionally, but even well meaning people do them without knowing it sometimes. Also, what others said about going down stairs with crutches being hard; I always feel like gravity is going to take over and I'm going to fall.

Thanks Jilli i'll let her know.

I say let him ask for what he needs rather than forcing your help on him.

And if you haven't been doing this already, then tell him you're switching over, so he knows it's ok to ask for things, and that you're not going to interfere unless he does.

I am often unsure whether to pick up an item dropped for someone or let them get it themselves. I personally love being fussed over and waited on, but it is a rare occasion. My default method with others is to let them know I am there to help as they need, then resist the temptation to take over. Mostly I have had to help with physical rehab situations where the patient really needed to do as much as possible.

Thank you, thank you, my wonderful hivemind. I needed all of that feedback.