I'll write this down. Maybe I'll remember.

maybe make it your tag line in here. So everytime you make a post, you will be reminded how awesome you are, and that you are totally worth it.

So tonight, my upstairs neighbor was walking his dog outside my door. Invited him in. We were chatting. His wife came down. We were chatting. Got lots of dirt on the previous owner of this place. Apparently she made their life a living hell (as in "i can hear you, I am calling the cops, you are making too much noise"). At one point, the wife went up to get something, and he was like "Wait, we can't hear her walking around" Nope. "But that c_ _ _ _ would pound on the ceiling with every step we took" He was very relieved that I'm not pounding on the ceiling. Apparently they were on eggshells. Crazy. Sad part. Her job is relocating them to Atlanta, and they will have to short sale their condo. And they are leaving in a few weeks. Oh. And then we went up to their place. I may be buying their HE washer/dryer. $700 for the set. About 1 year old. Didn't see what brand. I think GE. Also, he drinks some cheap-ass nasty beer. Why I drank a 40oz'er, I have no clue. So. I might be a little drunk.

Speaking of therapy couch. I realize, or maybe wonder, not sure which. Given all the times I was grounded as a teen, and had to spend time in my room... I wonder if that's what made me such the lone wolf I am today. I have no problem sitting in my apartment alone for days on end. Don't mind interaction with others, but don't crave it. Does that make sense? Is that cause/effect? Or just how it worked out? Curious. guess there really is no way of truly finding out.

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I have no problem sitting in my apartment alone for days on end. Don't mind interaction with others, but don't crave it.

I think some of us are just wired this way.

I'm following the dating/sex/etc. discussion with much interest. I won't go in to how long it's been since I've had anything resembling a date, or my various Issues. I'm not sure I even want to get into the dating or looking around pool, but it's nice to know y'all have got my back should I ever want to make another try at entering those waters.

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Quick recap of my Attenborough adventures! Some things I've learned about Sir David Attenborough:

• He was the first person to bring the word "bugger" to BBC programming.

• He produced the Queen's Christmas message for ten years.

• He was once mistaken for the Duke of Edinburgh by a tribe on the Solomon Islands. (Attenborough, Edinburgh; simple mistake.) This tribe, at the time, rejected all things European; his party was still welcomed, on condition that they brought no Western clothing into the village. So, this happened, from the 27:15 mark or so: [link] Seriously, check this out. Then remember, they thought he was the Duke of Edinburgh.

• Among the things David brought to British television are: snooker, rugby league and Monty Python's Flying Circus.

• He once thought he had returned from an expedition with malaria; turned out that the fever was because his wife had bought an electric blanket while he was away.

• Among the items named after him are a plesiosaurid, a north Australian spider (as of this month), and -- I kid you not -- a species of echidna. At this point I believe he's doing this deliberately.

My favourite story from the evening: he recounts one of his first expeditions, for the programme ZooQuest, seeking to film a Komodo dragon. A fisherman of uncertain reliability had taken them from Flores to Komodo island (striking at least one coral reef on the way, and revealing once they were two days out that he'd never actually been to Komodo before), where they stayed at a local village. The expedition itself was successful; but one night over dinner, the headman talked with him:

"This captain that brought you here, he is no good."
"We've noticed. But how do you mean, 'no good'?"
"He is not a fisherman. He runs guns to the rebels in Sulawesi. He was only on Flores because he is hiding out from the army."
"Um... that explains a lot, I suppose."
"Yes. He comes to me, this man, and says to me, 'These passengers, they have many valuables and equipment. If you come back with me, we can overpower them together.'"
"Ah. Sooo... Are you... coming back with us."
[smiling and gesturing vaguely] "Oh, you know... The wife..."

I may well have some more later. They took some audience questions, but not mine. The ones they chose were quite interesting anyway. (One person asked him, "What's the one that got away?" He said that up to a few years ago, he'd have said the snow leopard; but they caught some quite excellent footage for Planet Earth, shown here: [link] Now, his pick is the giant squid, though he doesn't hold out much hope of being the one to fill that gap.

It was well worth it. Oh, one other thing: I figured that he was doing these presentations as his way of slowing down or something. Not so. Apparently he had a few days free in Australian on his way from the Galapagos Islands to Mozambique. He's 86 years old.

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I definitely have been going through this on and off after the first 6-12 months of living here went by. I have to always remember my cousin's words of wisdom, "no matter where you go, you're still you." It's so frustrating though.

Me, too. Also, my time in Moldova was a crash course in "huh, I don't like myself very much." Which then took me eight years or so to figure out how to like myself somewhat, and I'm sure it'll be a lifelong journey.

Basically I narrate myself. I would say, "not leaving, just shifting because my hip hurts" and pat the hand. Constant reassurance is key to keeping the insecure lover calm.

Good advice, thank you.

Buffista Therapy Room: come in with the pieces of your psyche in your hand, leave with them glued together in new, unexpected, but surprisingly pleasing configurations.

edit: Possibly with added pinwheels and sparklers for effect.

COMMA'd!

Attenborough = awesome. Thanks for sharing highlights!

omnis, I spent lots of time alone reading as a child (not because I was grounded, but we didn't live on streets with other kids) and I am most definitely *not* okay with staying in my apartment by myself for days on end. I am a capital-E extrovert, and my times of unemployment were made more difficult by the depression being alone a lot brings me.

So. Lordy. I ended up canceling on my friend and going over to Z's house last night, because we seemed to be embroiled in a massive miscommunication. I think things are clearer now? I really hope so. Turns out having lively conversations with his female friend and mentioning (he called it "announcing") that I'm bi gave both of them the impression that I was more into her than him. Oy.

I spent the night, so of course I got almost no sleep (guess who snores? and guess whose hip was super painful?). Anyway, lots of good communication and stuff, and then this morning he shares that he's not ready to be exclusive and is dating someone else.

OH HAI INSECURITIES. I am simultaneously feeling super neurotic about this other chick and feeling a tiny bit grateful that a little pressure is off. Mostly neurotic, though. Who is she? What's she like? Is she prettier than me? Funnier? Less neurotic?!?!

Anyway, whatevs. Off to Doggies and Donuts, then the market, then I don't know what. I suspect a serious nap will happen sometime today.

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billytea, thank you for sharing the David Attenborough stuff. Thanks to your talk over the years, the kids and I have now watched much of his work (some things many many times) and we just love him. When we recently saw a nature documentary that did not include him, Dillo was put off, as if something was wrong!

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Sir David Attenborough

I want to be reincarnated as him.

then this morning he shares that he's not ready to be exclusive and is dating someone else. OH HAI INSECURITIES.

OH HAI oh hell no. Thanks for helping me define a boundary, there! I'm not sleeping with anybody who's sleeping with anybody else.

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then this morning he shares that he's not ready to be exclusive and is dating someone else. OH HAI INSECURITIES.

Yikes! I'm kind of with Zen, and I think that's something that should be on the table before sex.

Who is she? What's she like? Is she prettier than me? Funnier? Less neurotic?!?!

It's probably that she has better friends. Tom and I were total snoozefests last night. I will not tell Tom about Z's revelations since he tends to be fiercely loyal and will consider this turn of events Less Than Honorable toward you. And we're hanging out tomorrow, so.

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The guy replied with a "Wink". Okay, that's nice, still interested! but I need a verbal response, man. Use your words.

Oh, now it's funny. He Winked at me again, I think probably to let me know that he's changed his username. I Winked back, to say, yes I see your new username. It's like a shy-geek code.

If he Winks at me again, I'm gonna hunt him down. Enough already.

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I hated the winking on OKC. HATED it. It was so namby-pamby; at least title it something less coy, like "Casual Grope."

But I met D through it, so it ain't all bad.

smonster, um. Yeah. Miscommunication? Sounds like he has it.

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I'm following the dating/sex/etc. discussion with much interest. I won't go in to how long it's been since I've had anything resembling a date, or my various Issues. I'm not sure I even want to get into the dating or looking around pool, but it's nice to know y'all have got my back should I ever want to make another try at entering those waters.

What Anne said.

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