The Mayor ,'End of Days'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I have nothing, really, to add to the discussion because I've a) never really dated, much and 2) been in a relationship for yonks and don't think my experiences would help, much.
Instead, I bring you shallow fashion business! What do we think of this dress:
I think it's lovely, Aims. I like the seaming on the bodice.
What color, Aims?
Cedar.
In the plaids, it starts to look kind of apron-y, just because of the way the pattern lies. I definitely like the floral ones better.
If I'm in the ballpark with that description
Yep, that's pretty much the ballpark.
Well, all I can say is that that's more or less how I feel. And based on my anecdotal experience, there are men out there who can deal with your issues.
Tim has infinite goddamn patience with me, I tell you what. I am (no pun intended) FUCKED UP. (And I don't mean that because of the kink. Irrespective of the kink, I am really fucked up.) I don't know how he deals with my shit sometimes. And it stresses me out, because he's fairly hypersexual. And I'm very not. But we're not poly, so I can't just say "Go screw your other girlfriend." And sometimes I really wish we were poly so I could say that. But I'm fairly certain that that's not the right reason to be poly. (And neither of us is wired for poly; we've had that discussion a few times.)
because of that right now you don't want to deal with the potential of having sex
but "right now" has turned into 13 years, and I know if I don't make some effort to, to do *something*, I'll likely spend the rest of my life in this self-imposed isolation.
I think that starting to think about it, like you are right now, is a good first step. You don't ever have to have sex again, or you can have All The Sex. You just need to figure out what your next step should be (if you want to take a next step.)
I don't mean that it's easy. Just that starting to think about it is how you start to figure out what comes next.
I was telling Debet that I am awash in very casual clothes and feel I need some dressier stuff, especially if I'm going to start subbing in January. I think that would look super cute with a cardy and tights and boots.
but "right now" has turned into 13 years, and I know if I don't make some effort to, to do *something*, I'll likely spend the rest of my life in this self-imposed isolation.I feel your pain. It's gotta be 6 or 8 years for me (once you add an 's" to year since you've had sex, it gets kinda depressing). I suck at asking women out. Suck at approach. It's either too casual, and it goes nowhere, or I come off as a perv, and it goes nowhere. I don't have much advice for you. But, that I'm sitting on the same bench with you.
That's totally a teacher-suitable dress.
Zen, I'm sorry this is all so fraught for you. The only way to figure things out, and make a change, is to start, right? Just keep starting. Sex is a super weird thing. It really, really is.
Not the greatest segue, but Z met Tom and Nora and me at the pub for a drink. Still like him. Still seems to like me. Going to maybe hang out tomorrow night, and all four of us are going to see Beasts of the Southern Wild on Sunday night (my third time, the first for the others). Part of me is antsy to just know that we're in a relationship*, part of me feels good about taking things a little slow (though we've already had sex once, so not *that* slow).
* yes, I know, here I go again. My insecurity eats me starting with my bottom, every day.