My grandmother who passed away in January learned a little bit from her husband's death, so my mom and her brother didn't have too hard a time with her estate. My grandfather, on the other hand, was a full-on Depression-type, and he had money socked away in hundreds of little places. Like, envelopes in a desk. Small accounts here and there. I think they're still trying to chase some of it down.

Nora, it's not upsetting, and I apologize if I came off as short. I just don't want you getting aggravated for no reason, when the solicitor's request for payment is well within rights.

I get the fucked up family dynamics. I no longer speak to Rob's parents. Because of their actions, I cut off all contact. The most upsetting thing? I've lost the ability to ever see my dog again. They have Coco (which is the way it should be because I cannot care for a dog and work the hours I do), and that truly hurts.

If Tom doesn't want to force a sale of the house, then he may be able to ask the court to force it. Otherwise, he'll be stuck paying the solicitor's bill. You never know, they may be amenable to taking each month's rent as installments to pay off their charges.

Thanks, brenda. I'm glad I could be a cautionary tale. As soon as I'm done dealing with Rob's mess, I'll be putting an estate plan in place for myself. The best news? My freakin' parents FINALLY did their wills. I've just been on them about this for 20 years.

Pretty sure my parents have got all their shit in order, but it wouldn't hurt to double check.

I recently asked my mom to give me all the info I needed, and it consisted of things like this, and I quote:

"All our papers -- will, etc. -- are in the safe in [Stepdad's] office. He has the only key, so if we die at the same time, you're shit out of luck and need to call a safecracker."

ISTG, that's what it says. I may stand to inherit the Hope Diamond, but I "need to call a safecracker."

Also, it includes things like: "We have a joint account at [Bank Name]." That's it. No account info, nothing.

I think my mom is fuzzy on the concept of "information."

(Ironically, they are on vacation right now -- dear Northern California, WATCH OUT -- and so if something horrific happens, I will indeed need to call a safecracker. [She gave me the unhelpful info 2 days before they left, so there wasn't time to chase down the real info and to suggest that my stepdad get another fucking key for his safe.])

I love my family, but they are batshit crazy. (My mom texted me from Lake Tahoe this morning to tell me that she was watching the Weather Channel and that Cincinnati was supposed to get thunderstorms, so keep an eye out. INSANE.)

t edit My dad has no assets at all. He's a renter, on a fixed income, with no savings that I am aware of. But I know where all his stuff is (although, come to think of it, I don't know his bank info [he has a checking account and safety deposit box]), and he went through the process 2 years ago of setting up a plan to donate his body to UC Med school after he dies, and I have all the papers for that. Which I brought home and shoved as far back in my desk as I could, because denial is the best way to deal with one's parents' eventual mortality.)

I am pretty sure my parents' have their estate in some kind of order. I know they have had a will for a long time. My Aunt Jo was named as our guardian! We still tell her that we're going to come live with her after my parents pass.

One thing I found out through all this was that in Illinois, if the next of kin or named executor is not an Illinois resident, they have to post a significant bond before they can access stuff. That alone would have posed a severe hardship for any of my family. Another reason it's good to get on top of this shit.

I'm glad I could be a cautionary tale.

I also went to the dermatologist.

I also went to the dermatologist.

Shit, I need to do that. Thanks for the reminder!

My father has been trying for a couple years now to get me on all of his accounts. They got their wills sorted out when my mother was diagnosed, but apparently he doesn't want to pass me stuff--he wants me to have access now (note: I have no idea how much I'm supposed to give my sister, and I don't want to delve into why *I* get access and not her, since he could have given her access by now ten times over).

I have no idea how much Jamaican finance law might differ from American--surely there's a reason everyone doesn't do this. What am I missing? What's wrong with it?

Eek. I feel definitely like I should do this stuff. Maria's situation just has sounded so damn sucky, I would hate to put anyone through that.

Brenda, that's crazy! What if you don't know anyone close enough in Illinois??

If Tom doesn't want to force a sale of the house, then he may be able to ask the court to force it. Otherwise, he'll be stuck paying the solicitor's bill. You never know, they may be amenable to taking each month's rent as installments to pay off their charges.

Good luck--sounds like that might be the easiest solution.

I also went to the dermatologist.

Woot! I did too. Wills and dermatologists for everyone.

Tep, even if he has nothing, he still should have a will. If he goes without one, you'll have to wait until the court appoints an administrator to access anything that solely in his name (bank accounts, credit cards, etc.), and the administrator would have to be approved by all parties who potentially stand to inherit--you and your brother. If he names one in a will, it's done. No discussion, and no waiting for the court.