I am pretty sure my parents' have their estate in some kind of order. I know they have had a will for a long time. My Aunt Jo was named as our guardian! We still tell her that we're going to come live with her after my parents pass.

One thing I found out through all this was that in Illinois, if the next of kin or named executor is not an Illinois resident, they have to post a significant bond before they can access stuff. That alone would have posed a severe hardship for any of my family. Another reason it's good to get on top of this shit.

I'm glad I could be a cautionary tale.

I also went to the dermatologist.

I also went to the dermatologist.

Shit, I need to do that. Thanks for the reminder!

My father has been trying for a couple years now to get me on all of his accounts. They got their wills sorted out when my mother was diagnosed, but apparently he doesn't want to pass me stuff--he wants me to have access now (note: I have no idea how much I'm supposed to give my sister, and I don't want to delve into why *I* get access and not her, since he could have given her access by now ten times over).

I have no idea how much Jamaican finance law might differ from American--surely there's a reason everyone doesn't do this. What am I missing? What's wrong with it?

Eek. I feel definitely like I should do this stuff. Maria's situation just has sounded so damn sucky, I would hate to put anyone through that.

Brenda, that's crazy! What if you don't know anyone close enough in Illinois??

If Tom doesn't want to force a sale of the house, then he may be able to ask the court to force it. Otherwise, he'll be stuck paying the solicitor's bill. You never know, they may be amenable to taking each month's rent as installments to pay off their charges.

Good luck--sounds like that might be the easiest solution.

I also went to the dermatologist.

Woot! I did too. Wills and dermatologists for everyone.

Tep, even if he has nothing, he still should have a will. If he goes without one, you'll have to wait until the court appoints an administrator to access anything that solely in his name (bank accounts, credit cards, etc.), and the administrator would have to be approved by all parties who potentially stand to inherit--you and your brother. If he names one in a will, it's done. No discussion, and no waiting for the court.

I know my dad has drawn up a basic will now. And has given me a card that has the details of his pre-paid cremation plan. (Which he handed to me on his birthday, because hey, I got my morbid sense of humor from him.)

However, Pete and I haven't done ANY sort of estate planning. Which we probably should.

Brenda, that's crazy! What if you don't know anyone close enough in Illinois??

Right?? I'm really fortunate that I have some very close family friends who live here who I'm comfortable asking to be put in that position. But that's a total fluke. I have no idea how I would handle if this one specific couple didn't live here.

Tep, even if he has nothing, he still should have a will.

I've hassled him about it, and he mutters something about me being executor of his power of attorney, and I try to tell him that's not the same thing, and then it gets ridiculous because he insists that I have power of attorney "over everything" and then I give up before I start screaming.

No, that's really how it goes. I get so irrationally angry at his misunderstanding and his refusal to consider that maybe what he thinks is correct isn't correct. And I've even tried telling him that what he's doing will make things harder for me and Jeff when he dies, and he just says I have power of attorney "over everything." And then I tell him I have to get off the phone and I scream at Tim for a while.