Any chance you can get Tom's father to buy you out of the house?

Can you force someone to sell, here? I feel like you might be able to force them to either sell or buy you out, but that a lot of people haven't been doing that lately because the market was so low that selling wouldn't be a good plan. But yeah, the value of half the house would be part of the estate and would need to either go to cover her debts or if you kept it, you'd have to find another way to pay.

he's retired, and on a fixed income. He can't afford to buy us out, and has resisted all our requests to think about selling it. Market is good in St. Andrews, and would be able to sell pretty well, I think.

Legally, maybe we could force a sale, but I don't see that happening - Tom's not going to force anything on him.

We do get half the rental income, it's currently going to the estate account. I am hoping the lawyer will take pity on us and continue to collect the rent until we've paid what we owe.

if mom dies owning $10k on her credit card and rents and only has $2k in the bank, I'm not out for that unless I co-sign on her card. But that also means while I'm not out $8k, I probably would have to pay out of pocket for a funeral or whatever.

Not necessarily true. Caveat: this is state-dependent. In MD, there's a certain order to payment of debts when there's insufficient assets:

• Fees due to the register;

• Costs and expenses of administration;

• Funeral expenses not to exceed $5,000 (small estate) or $10,000 (regular estate);

• Compensation of personal representative in a regular estate, legal services and commissions of licensed real estate broker;

• Family allowance – Spouse $5,000.00 each minor child $2,500.00;

• Taxes due by the decedent;

• Reasonable medical, hospital, and nursing expenses of the last illness of the decedent;

• Rent payable by the decedent for not more than three months in arrears;

• Wages, salaries or commission for services performed for the decedent within three months prior to death of the decedent;

• Old age assistance claims; and

• All other claims

Nora, the solicitor's fees are part of the costs and expenses of administration. If you don't sell the house, you would be responsible for them, even here. The larger question is why is his father not responsible for half, since he has half of the remaining assets of the estate?

In Tom's mother's case, it sounds like there are sufficient assets to cover the debts. The administrator/s and/or court could force a sale of the house to cover the expenses.

Tom's parents were legally separated and each owned half the equity of the house. Th half that Tom's dad has is not inherited from Eve, it's his own.

I am asking Tom to ask his dad AGAIN to agree to sell.

My email to the lawyers consisted mostly of a plea, which will likely fall on deaf ears. But at this point, we had very little to lose by freaking out.

It's just, UGH. After the awfulness of dealing with her decline, arranging for her care, paying for the funeral, making all the arrangements, it's like, OMG REALLY? Our reward for that is a bill for thousands of pounds? It just seems monumentally unfair - which I know is not a compelling legal argument, but since it's happening to someone I love, I'm fairly over the top unhinged about it.

So shitty for you both to have to deal with this.

Tom's parents were legally separated and each owned half the equity of the house. Th half that Tom's dad has is not inherited from Eve, it's his own.

Ugh. So he doesn't live there, correct? It's a SFH, rented, and half the rent goes to him?

Nora, really. I am dealing with the same thing. But it is the law.

I paid for Rob's funeral, and I have a bill from the attorney into the thousands of dollars to help settle an intestate estate that, at the end of the day, will not have enough assets to cover his funeral expenses. There's no way I could have dealt with the estate on my own, considering the financial shenanigans he got himself into, but I am responsible for paying the bill. I will get the proceeeds from his estate, but it will only cover about half of what I spent on funeral and estate administration expenses. Tom at least has a way to recoup the solicitor's fees. I don't.

And for you too, Maria. You did at least spark me to get things in motion to get my own will done, and make sure my dad's is in order.

I'm so sorry, Maria. I hope my whining wasn't upsetting to you. I appreciate - very much- your perspective as a lawyer and the fact you are dealing with the same thing.

Tom's family dynamic are just so insane that it tends to set me on edge in an irrational fashion.

Ugh. So he doesn't live there, correct? It's a SFH, rented, and half the rent goes to him?

Yep.

Nora and Maria, I am so sorry for this additional pain and complication.

Pretty sure my parents have got all their shit in order, but it wouldn't hurt to double check. And I know my own shit is not in order of any kind.