I also went to the dermatologist.

Shit, I need to do that. Thanks for the reminder!

My father has been trying for a couple years now to get me on all of his accounts. They got their wills sorted out when my mother was diagnosed, but apparently he doesn't want to pass me stuff--he wants me to have access now (note: I have no idea how much I'm supposed to give my sister, and I don't want to delve into why *I* get access and not her, since he could have given her access by now ten times over).

I have no idea how much Jamaican finance law might differ from American--surely there's a reason everyone doesn't do this. What am I missing? What's wrong with it?

Eek. I feel definitely like I should do this stuff. Maria's situation just has sounded so damn sucky, I would hate to put anyone through that.

Brenda, that's crazy! What if you don't know anyone close enough in Illinois??

If Tom doesn't want to force a sale of the house, then he may be able to ask the court to force it. Otherwise, he'll be stuck paying the solicitor's bill. You never know, they may be amenable to taking each month's rent as installments to pay off their charges.

Good luck--sounds like that might be the easiest solution.

I also went to the dermatologist.

Woot! I did too. Wills and dermatologists for everyone.

Tep, even if he has nothing, he still should have a will. If he goes without one, you'll have to wait until the court appoints an administrator to access anything that solely in his name (bank accounts, credit cards, etc.), and the administrator would have to be approved by all parties who potentially stand to inherit--you and your brother. If he names one in a will, it's done. No discussion, and no waiting for the court.

I know my dad has drawn up a basic will now. And has given me a card that has the details of his pre-paid cremation plan. (Which he handed to me on his birthday, because hey, I got my morbid sense of humor from him.)

However, Pete and I haven't done ANY sort of estate planning. Which we probably should.

Brenda, that's crazy! What if you don't know anyone close enough in Illinois??

Right?? I'm really fortunate that I have some very close family friends who live here who I'm comfortable asking to be put in that position. But that's a total fluke. I have no idea how I would handle if this one specific couple didn't live here.

Tep, even if he has nothing, he still should have a will.

I've hassled him about it, and he mutters something about me being executor of his power of attorney, and I try to tell him that's not the same thing, and then it gets ridiculous because he insists that I have power of attorney "over everything" and then I give up before I start screaming.

No, that's really how it goes. I get so irrationally angry at his misunderstanding and his refusal to consider that maybe what he thinks is correct isn't correct. And I've even tried telling him that what he's doing will make things harder for me and Jeff when he dies, and he just says I have power of attorney "over everything." And then I tell him I have to get off the phone and I scream at Tim for a while.

Tep, even if he has nothing, he still should have a will. If he goes without one, you'll have to wait until the court appoints an administrator to access anything that solely in his name (bank accounts, credit cards, etc.), and the administrator would have to be approved by all parties who potentially stand to inherit--you and your brother. If he names one in a will, it's done. No discussion, and no waiting for the court.

This is my dad's situation. The only thing he has really is a life insurance policy and a beat up old truck. (I paid off his credit card last year anyway.) But the other thing he has is kids from a prior marriage that we've never really had contact with. So things could end up such a mess.

I have no idea how much Jamaican finance law might differ from American--surely there's a reason everyone doesn't do this. What am I missing? What's wrong with it?

Probably tax purposes, ita !. And--depending on how the joint access is set up--that money could be considered yours as much as your father's, so it could screw up financial aid, or other income-dependent services. Creditors can also go after that money. In the U.S., not sure how/if it differs in Jamaica.

What if you don't know anyone close enough in Illinois??

In some states, you can appoint an in-state agent for an out-of-state administrator.

My shit isn't planned. I don't even have DNR or anything set up.

My shit should be planned, because I have no immediate family in the country, so whatever has to be done has immediate added clusterfuck points.