Yes, it is unfair. Cosmically so.

And if you need a safe place to just melt down, you've got it. Not just on the board, but here at my house. I suspect right now you might want the cocooning comfort of the familiar home, family and pets, but know the option is there should you want it.

Oh Maria. Oh sweetheart. I hate this. I’m so incredibly sorry for the pain and the fear. Just to offer one more shoulder, remember that I went through a doctor telling me my husband might not make it through the week almost exactly a year ago, so I know how deep that fear goes and can text or email or whatever you need. You are in no way taking over the board, and this isn’t drama. This is crisis, and friends are there for you when crisis rears its ugly, misshapen head.

Also?

I know people who deal with the universe. JPL and Caltech is on it, Maria. We're going to go kick the universe for you.

Lean on us. We are part of your support system.

It's all so goddamned unfair.

Yes. Yes, it is completely unfair.

Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but what mistake deserves this?

No mistake deserves this. None. You have done nothing wrong. Crappy things happen. I wish I coud tell you there is some higher purpose or whatever, but I can't really do that. All I can tell you is you did nothing to deserve this. This is not your fault.

I can also tell you that you can come here anytime and vent, rage, question, cry, ask for hugs, whatever. It is not a burden on us. It is a blessing to be your friend and if we can support you via the internet wires, let us.

this isn’t drama. This is crisis

Exactly this.

I'm usually in here taking up two pages because I think I'm fat and have split ends. Seriously, Maria, that's what the board is here for. Screaming into the interwebs and having a bunch of people tell you that you're going to be okay, all the time, until you're okay.

You're the only one going through this now, Maria. The board is yours.

Anger is not a bad response at this point. You'll both be angry, because it's not fucking fair. Anger will get you further than acceptance.

Dude, the only thing I was using the board for today was to pontificate about Rafael Nadal's posterior. I think there's enough space here for whatever you need it for, Maria.

We are here for you, as long as you need us.

Maria - God. . . I am just so sorry and yeah - this board is totally here for you to say all the things you need to say so that you can be the person you need to be for your dh and your family.

I say that, AND I say that we will also continue to talk about the silliness and interesting things and whatnot that makes up our regular days. That way you won't feel like you've derailed us, and you can also have some distractions when you need it. But don't let that deter you, either, you speak up any moment you need to.