I'm a HUGE fan of people who don't want kids not having them, really. I say go you.

I'm 50, now, and I get hit every now and then with "There's not going to be anyone gathered around me when I'm old and failing"--given the odds of Hubby surviving me would make Vegas giggle, that is.

So I regret the no kids thing at that moment, then I make myself consider what my life has been and mentally add in kids. And I shudder in horror. I know my weaknesses. I'm extremely selfish. Maybe I would have risen above it when confronted with helpless creatures depending on me, but I get impatient with cats who want my attention, I dread thinking about what I would have done with children. Especially children who--if anything like me--would have been looking for ways to be upsetting.

I made the decision with clear eyes and a cold heart. At this end of the reproductive years--you hear me, uterus! Be done with this, already!--I play "what if?" but in terms of that practicality that worries Hubby, I chose well.

I know intellectually that it's okay to not want to have kids. I know intellectually that it doesn't make me a failure as a woman or a human. But the way it *feels*...FAIL.

And the people who look at you with pity--stabbity stabbity.

What Burrell said.

And what Jesse said.

Tep, I hear you, societal pressure presses so hard sometimes it makes you wonder what it is you actually want. It's hard to swim against the tide. But dogs are cool, too.

And amyth and I can go out for $27 beers occasionally, since that's probably what they'll cost by then.

YOU GOT IT!

I feel like there's something DEEPLY, severely wrong with me that I don't want kids.

Maybe there's something DEEPLY right with you that you made this choice.

I once had a friend who, with a heavy measure of righteous anger, told me that a was 'selfish' for not wanting to have children.

A couple decades later, I'm still scratching my head over that one.

I won't pretend that I haven't had my moments of whimsy, but I'm glad that I chose sterilization 21 years ago.

Hopefully, my contribution to humanity will be judged kindly.

Despite my complete disinterest in, and constitutional inability to raise children, I have deep, deep sympathy for those who want, but don't have kids. My respect for parenting is huge. HUGE.

But dogs are cool, too.

Yes, but when I reach my inevitable dementia in 4 years, Kato will still be around, and he'll just steal my peanut butter out from under me. He's a good dog in all ways except his peanut-butter-thieving ways. Given my love of peanut butter, this could become a problem.

I totally hear that Steph. I don't really want kids, but I understand the desire for a family that you've created yourself.

I don't really have a lot of pressure to have kids. (My parents have their one, precious grandson.) And since neither of my older sisters had kids, the precedent was set.

Jam is done. It's very jammy and sweet. I guess it's okay. I think I would try a more spicy recipe next time. I keep making jam, but I don't like it all that much.

It makes me feel like a failure as a woman and a human.

If you are, I am, baybee! I think it's part of our early womanhood church conditioning that makes us feel that way, Tep. When I was fifteen, I told some random guy on the beach that all I wanted to do was get married and have kids. (Which he took to mean, I wanted to have sex right then in the beach showers, but whatevs.) But I really believed that at the time, because that's what everyone around me was supposed to want.

But hey, life came along and you know what? Mine is pretty fucking awesome, and I couldn't have had kids and had it. Sometimes I feel regretful about it, but not all that often. I like who I am, I like my partner, I like my career, I like my home. I don't have to have kids to be complete or feel fulfilled or any of that bullshit.

We made an informed decision not to have kids and we take specific precautions so that we can execute that plan. If something happened and those precautions failed and I got pregnant, I'd make a damn lot of changes in my life, and I also think we'd be kickass parents. But I have chosen not to be a parent, and I'm totally happy with that.