I'm 43 and don't want to have kids, but a husband would be nice. And, I think I could be a good stepmom. But, like Scrappy's friends, I have pretty much given up on that. I'm gonna be stay the old maid teacher with a cat.

Olivia just came in and asked me if I could "tell her the story of Jewish people--the WHOLE thing"

Does she understand that story starts with the creation of the earth?

Hey, I just lost..twenty-two pounds now.

Yay!

I have despaired of either meeting someone or losing weight.

I keep hoping one of those "and then just when she though she wouldn't meet anyone..." stories will be me someday.

Me, too.

I'm 36 (next month), I'd like to have a husband or wife (but not both), and kids are negotiable. I'd like to have a kid by 40, if it's going to happen, but I sincerely doubt I'll have one without a partner.

AND THEN THERE WAS LIGHT!!!!

Was over at neighbor's porch (with power) who made us electrical refugees dinner. And I noticed a glint and then there was a roar of delight that came from all the way up the street!

Whoo for power!

You can get everything delivered, don't have to do any property maintenance, and walking up and down stairs is good for the heart!

This is why I love Jesse. And amyth and I can go out for $27 beers occasionally, since that's probably what they'll cost by then.

Hooray for light!

I am making tomato jam. It's an incredible amount of work for what will be a tiny pot of jam. But it alleviates my anxiety about going away for a long weekend with four dozen small tomatoes to be eaten.

I still have a couple dozen of tomatoes in varying stages of ripeness.

YAY POWER!

This is why I love Jesse. And amyth and I can go out for $27 beers occasionally, since that's probably what they'll cost by then.

Woo hoo! And yes.

I knew a woman a million years ago when I lived in DC who was planning to retire to NYC. I don't know if she's done it yet.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY BUFFY PARTIES I HAVE BEEN TO?

More than three? Yeah, but I've seen you at these things and you're in busy organizer mode, scrupulously avoiding actually mixing and mingling and talking to new people.

That seems like a lot of work just to attain lifelong happiness.

Or you could let your mom pick your wife.

Hey, I just lost..twenty-two pounds now.

Yay!

Is it a yay, since it's the result of IBS pain and badness? (Not that I'm reproaching Ginger; I'm guessing not everyone has your IBS in the corner of their mind, but I am sympatico with you since my own guts have had their own rebellion and are taking a long slow time to settle down. Er, which is to say, I'm aware of your ongoing IBS issues, and was wondering if that's why you've lost weight.)

Anyway, what I mean is, it's a bitch of a way to lose weight, and I couldn't recommend it to anyone.

I'd like to have a kid by 40,

I feel like there's something DEEPLY, severely wrong with me that I don't want kids. I really want to WANT them; I feel like I should be wanting them so I have the large brood to gather around my deathbed, etc., etc., but -- I have zero urge to have a kid. None.

It makes me feel like a failure as a woman and a human.

And then I am occasionally struck with pangs like, wow, when I see the family gathered at Tim's parents' house for holidays, 4 generations now, I feel like I *should* have embarked upon that for myself, to become the legendary old matriarch. It would be nice to know I had a brood to take care of me when I'm senile and doddering (which I assume will happen 'round about age 44, the way I'm going).

I want the benefits of it, I suppose, but I don't want to actually have kids or procure them through adoption. I don't actually want to be a mom, although being a grandmother seems like a decent gig.

It's really hard to be so out of step with what the vast majority has. For a very VERY long time I just told myself that I was a late bloomer and eventually I'd want what everyone else wants.

But I'm 40, y'all, and while I do not rule out the unexpected, I can't forsee suddenly wanting to have a baby.

I know intellectually that it's okay to not want to have kids. I know intellectually that it doesn't make me a failure as a woman or a human. But the way it *feels*...FAIL.

Oh Steph, it makes me sad to hear you say that. I think it's a big problem that we've placed so much value on motherhood for women. There's nothing wrong with NOT wanting to have children, and it's good to know your own desires and own them in that way. I do know that society can make it hard to own that choice, but it's them that's wrong, not you.