And what Jesse said.

Tep, I hear you, societal pressure presses so hard sometimes it makes you wonder what it is you actually want. It's hard to swim against the tide. But dogs are cool, too.

And amyth and I can go out for $27 beers occasionally, since that's probably what they'll cost by then.

YOU GOT IT!

I feel like there's something DEEPLY, severely wrong with me that I don't want kids.

Maybe there's something DEEPLY right with you that you made this choice.

I once had a friend who, with a heavy measure of righteous anger, told me that a was 'selfish' for not wanting to have children.

A couple decades later, I'm still scratching my head over that one.

I won't pretend that I haven't had my moments of whimsy, but I'm glad that I chose sterilization 21 years ago.

Hopefully, my contribution to humanity will be judged kindly.

Despite my complete disinterest in, and constitutional inability to raise children, I have deep, deep sympathy for those who want, but don't have kids. My respect for parenting is huge. HUGE.

But dogs are cool, too.

Yes, but when I reach my inevitable dementia in 4 years, Kato will still be around, and he'll just steal my peanut butter out from under me. He's a good dog in all ways except his peanut-butter-thieving ways. Given my love of peanut butter, this could become a problem.

I totally hear that Steph. I don't really want kids, but I understand the desire for a family that you've created yourself.

I don't really have a lot of pressure to have kids. (My parents have their one, precious grandson.) And since neither of my older sisters had kids, the precedent was set.

Jam is done. It's very jammy and sweet. I guess it's okay. I think I would try a more spicy recipe next time. I keep making jam, but I don't like it all that much.

It makes me feel like a failure as a woman and a human.

If you are, I am, baybee! I think it's part of our early womanhood church conditioning that makes us feel that way, Tep. When I was fifteen, I told some random guy on the beach that all I wanted to do was get married and have kids. (Which he took to mean, I wanted to have sex right then in the beach showers, but whatevs.) But I really believed that at the time, because that's what everyone around me was supposed to want.

But hey, life came along and you know what? Mine is pretty fucking awesome, and I couldn't have had kids and had it. Sometimes I feel regretful about it, but not all that often. I like who I am, I like my partner, I like my career, I like my home. I don't have to have kids to be complete or feel fulfilled or any of that bullshit.

We made an informed decision not to have kids and we take specific precautions so that we can execute that plan. If something happened and those precautions failed and I got pregnant, I'd make a damn lot of changes in my life, and I also think we'd be kickass parents. But I have chosen not to be a parent, and I'm totally happy with that.

Er, which is to say, I'm aware of your ongoing IBS issues, and was wondering if that's why you've lost weight.

Bingo. Eating usually ends in pain. So I don't eat very much.

I've tried to convince myself that I didn't want to be a mom, ever. I put up a good front. I have a hard time being around friends with kids, and sometimes talking to my own niece and nephew on the phone gives me a lump in my throat.

I never ever wanted kids. Even in my childish fantasies, I got married very late, to someone who had grown kids. I am not sure that this will happen, because, unlike Allyson's version of compromise, at this point I am actually unwilling to compromise at all in my personal life. I spend two whole jobs compromising and trying to help people get along, and when I get home, I want it my way. Since I am just naturally a people pleaser, I think that means that right now I need to be by myself. Everyone I have ever dated has liked this persona, not the real me. Perhaps in my 40's I will be able to bring them together and be more real me on the outside and someone might end up liking that,

I do worry about being old alone, because it is difficult, and my family is not that healthy. But my BFF comes from an incredibly long line of very long lived people. Her mother at 75 is far more healthy and youthful than mine at mine at 65. And she has kids, and her family traditionally takes care of the old so I am sort of counting on them to be there.

In other news, there are somehow 7 billion flys in my apartment. They keep making their way to the computer screen because it is the only light on. It is a little disconcerting. I have killed 8 in the past half hour.

I can't seem to get myself together enough to experiment to see if there are particular foods, in addition to stress, which is the most obvious cause of my IBS. When my intestines are really revolting, I can only face things like ice cream.