Sheen's Kids Removed After Alleged Death Threat

A judge temporarily stripped Charlie Sheen of custody of his twin sons Tuesday, after Brooke Mueller submitted a declaration in which she alleged Charlie said, "I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom" ... TMZ has learned.

TMZ broke the story ... Brooke's lawyer got a temporary restraining order against Charlie, prohibiting him from going near her. The judge also ordered Charlie to surrender their twin boys -- Bob and Max -- to Brooke while the TRO remains in effect.

Police removed the twins from Charlie's house late Tuesday.

According to legal docs, Brooke also claims ... on February 23 Charlie threw a phone inside his house and then with a penknife in hand, threatened to stick it in Brooke's eye.

Oh, here's my idea for a new sitcom:

Charlie Sheen, Kadhafi and Rod Blagojevich are roommates.

The rest writes itself. It'd be fucking golden!

The Greek word meaning "young" is neo/nea/neos, depending on gender.

Hence "neonatal."

In other news, I just got spam offering me heroin (liquid or crystal) and rocket launchers. The spammer's target audience has a way more interesting life than I do.

Wait, Charlie Sheen's toddlers were living in his house until a couple of weeks ago? Well, maybe some of the hookers babysit.

Fetus is derived from the latin; the root word (also "fetus") means "offspring." The IE stem means "to grow, to come into being."

Wait, Charlie Sheen's toddlers were living in his house until a couple of weeks ago?

Yeah, that's horrifying. I'm hoping there's at least one actual nanny?

Well, maybe some of the hookers babysit.

Yeah, they did. According to Sheen, anyway.

Also, a porn star.

How do you determine which hookers will be acceptable babysitters? I mean you probably don't want a crack whore. I don't know why this isn't covered in parenting books.

I just got spam offering me heroin (liquid or crystal) and rocket launchers.

In the same spam? That's awesome!

omg a friend just posted on fb about some jackholes in Ohio who have called a fetus as a witness in a trial about abortion, something about saying the fetus has full rights when the first heartbeat is detected. NOT ENOUGH RAGE IN THE WORLD.

Jon worked himself up this morning about Perry's "emergency" legislation to make sure women get a sonogram, hear a heartbeat and know whether or not the fetus has limbs before having an abortion.5 minutes after the story ended he was still fuming.

University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point has a counseling group program, Stevens Point and Wisconsin Rapids have First Choice counseling, baby products etc.

baby products? Are they made from real babies?

And now, to counteract all the bad, I bring you Paula Deen riding things. [link] You're welcome.

Automobiles go hither and yon, wherever and whenever the driver desires, without timetables.

I have three words for him: alternate side parking.