"It's not you, Bonny. Nobody cares about anybody's feelings anymore."

Yeah that is not true in my experience AT ALL. I'm sorry your friend has had a different experience.

Bullshit. But if that's what it takes to make someone feel like less of soulless asshole, to talk about The Incivility of The Modern Era, good luck with that. Or, you know, I could be nobody.

bonny, I care! I admit I can be a complete dork sometimes wrt forgetting birthdays etc but I feel horrible about it afterwards and always try to make it up to people. I have enjoyed reading your posts and feel like I know you a little and I feel horrible that your friend doesn't seem able to be there for you.

I agree. I don't think it's true at all that people don't care.

Given my recent waxing rhapsodic about the wonderful care I received when I was ill, I clearly don't subscribe to that newsletter. However, it does seem as some people have become so absorbed in their own stuff that a suggestion that they consider someone else's feelings actually offensive. This appears to be the case with my friend. It bothers me so much because I HAVE cared so much for her.

bonny, I care! I admit I can be a complete dork sometimes wrt forgetting birthdays etc but I feel horrible about it afterwards and always try to make it up to people. I have enjoyed reading your posts and feel like I know you a little and I feel horrible that your friend doesn't seem able to be there for you.

Aw. Thanks Laga, and right back atcha.

I am the worst birthday keeper, but it isn't for lack of caring!

Drew, I'm very sorry for your loss.

bonny, I am a little appalled that your "friend" doesn't seem capable of being a friend.

I dunno, I'm with some others in the "scrappy is wise" camp, if someone sent me that email I'd probably want to hash it out if not in person, at least not over email where things can be harsh and it's more like a monologue than a dialogue.

Jilli, I have to confess that, when I came seeking advice I was thinking, "What would Jilli say?"

bonny, your friend sounds very frustrating. I have an energy-draining friend who sounds like she has things in common with yours. I've cut down on the time I spend with her. Sometimes letting people go is the only way forward. Wishing you all the best with it.

In our house we've had to have a few talks about how Mommy's big belly is a fun happy topic for conversation, but it's not really polite to ask if Daddy is also going to have a baby come out of HIS big tummy.

Hee. And that reminds me. My niece, who is only just three, freaked my sister out yesterday by asking "Where was Ivy [her new baby sister] when I was in your tummy?" This is the same child who regularly corners me with theology and philosophy, and has taken to asking if we can get out of our bodies if we want to. I swear the Theory of Mind stuff I learnt in the psychology module of my teacher training course did not mention having to explain these things to pre-schoolers.

Also, clue-sticking all around Seska's university, which I would have thought would have been thoroughly clued years ago.

The DDA was passed in 1995. So you'd have thought so, wouldn't you? Heh. Got a meeting with them tomorrow. Please, wish me calm~ma. If I lose the plot during the meeting and leave the uni in spite, I might regret it later on.

When it was safer to make a joke using words like "terrorist" I used to say I could make some nice coin sneaking mad bombers on airplanes while the whole airport screeched to a fucking halt realizing that"Oh, shit, wheelchairs are metal too." Then, they have to find the one female metal-screener, in case I think this is foreplay.

The one who got me on the way back was trying to speak French to me. It took me so long to decypher "How long can you stand up for?" that she had given up and let me stay sitting. I guess you've had your chair broken more times than I have on flights, erika. I've just had the one chair ruined. Quite irritating enough though!

Really sorry to hear about your aunt, ND.

Nothing~ma for the family member, Sox.

And that was me meara-ing. I think that's everything. Oh, except that my vacuum cleaner has broken and we can't afford a new one. Grr.