Matilda likes to compliment me on my belly size, as if I were some Diamond Age industrialist and a solid belly presence was a sign of health and prosperity.

Mal lost privileges to be in the bathroom with me while I wash my hair (kneeling beside the tub) because he WILL NOT obey House Rule #3: Do Not Play With A Parent's Woggle.

Uh. That being our word for grabbable midsection fat. Originally used to describe The Cat Legion's physique.

I am apple shaped and it's very frustrating. Midsection fat is totally difficult to lose.

My fat made it next to impossible to pass the skills test last night at CPR class. It is now physically impossible for me to actually bend my head down far enough to do rescue breaths. I hate being fat, and I hate that it is getting in my way, and I hate that nothing I have ever done to stop being fat ever actually earned me the privilege of being skinny.

bonny, I'm going to back up Scrappy and lisah on this one. The two of you obviously have very different takes on what has happened between you, and she may be feeling shocked, hurt, and like she can't adequately explain herself over email. So she's trying to do some damage control.

I know how frustrated you are with her, and you have every right to be! But she is reaching out to you now -- even if not in the way you'd like -- and that says to me that there is at least a chance that she doesn't want to lose your friendship and would be willing to make changes. No guarantee, obviously. But it might be worth a try.

Why exactly is she your best friend, bonny? We've only come in at the end here where she's been a source of frustration.

What's awesome about her?

bonny, I have no advice on what to say to your BFF, but I am sorry you are going through that.

I need to decide if I'm flying up to Ottawa for my Aunt's memorial. I just got the information and there's a wake on Friday with the service on Sunday. I checked and there's a round trip flight that leaves Thursday and returns Sunday for less than $600 which is a pretty decent rate for that trip on this short notice.

{{{Drew}}} I'm sorry for your loss.

{{{Drew}}} I'm so sorry. I meant to say so earlier.

Why exactly is she your best friend, bonny? We've only come in at the end here where she's been a source of frustration.

What's awesome about her?

These are good questions, David. K and I have been friends for about 5 years.

We are extremely different people, but have been so fascinated by each other that we grew incredibly close. We supported each other threw a LOT of stuff. Me helping her to learn new emotional skills for dealing with her company and with her very difficult family. ALWAYS being available for the errand or task...going to the airport at 4am, cleaning up after the party, fixing this or that.

Her helping me by expanding my horizons and social network, trusting me with her life, paying for fancy dinners and hanging out over Dancing With the Stars.

It may sound ironic, but we both highly value loyalty and have stuck together through some pretty difficult stuff (not between us, but around us).

That's what bothers me so much...that she can't make time for me, (and by time, I don't mean much) nor can she communicate on a level that works for me.

Unrelated to her, but effected by her, is my recent choice to quit being the one who takes emotional care of every-freaking-body in my life. I'm there for my clients but would like at least one person in my life to have the emotional courage to suppport me in that way. I thought K was it. Thus my non-meh approach to her behavior.

I spoke about this with a rl friend a bit ago and he gave me an interesting perspective. "It's not you, Bonny. Nobody cares about anybody's feelings anymore."

I wish I found that more comforting than blood chilling.