bonny, I'm going to back up Scrappy and lisah on this one. The two of you obviously have very different takes on what has happened between you, and she may be feeling shocked, hurt, and like she can't adequately explain herself over email. So she's trying to do some damage control.
I know how frustrated you are with her, and you have every right to be! But she is reaching out to you now -- even if not in the way you'd like -- and that says to me that there is at least a chance that she doesn't want to lose your friendship and would be willing to make changes. No guarantee, obviously. But it might be worth a try.
Why exactly is she your best friend, bonny? We've only come in at the end here where she's been a source of frustration.
What's awesome about her?
bonny, I have no advice on what to say to your BFF, but I am sorry you are going through that.
I need to decide if I'm flying up to Ottawa for my Aunt's memorial. I just got the information and there's a wake on Friday with the service on Sunday. I checked and there's a round trip flight that leaves Thursday and returns Sunday for less than $600 which is a pretty decent rate for that trip on this short notice.
{{{Drew}}} I'm sorry for your loss.
{{{Drew}}} I'm so sorry. I meant to say so earlier.
Why exactly is she your best friend, bonny? We've only come in at the end here where she's been a source of frustration.
What's awesome about her?
These are good questions, David. K and I have been friends for about 5 years.
We are extremely different people, but have been so fascinated by each other that we grew incredibly close. We supported each other threw a LOT of stuff. Me helping her to learn new emotional skills for dealing with her company and with her very difficult family. ALWAYS being available for the errand or task...going to the airport at 4am, cleaning up after the party, fixing this or that.
Her helping me by expanding my horizons and social network, trusting me with her life, paying for fancy dinners and hanging out over Dancing With the Stars.
It may sound ironic, but we both highly value loyalty and have stuck together through some pretty difficult stuff (not between us, but around us).
That's what bothers me so much...that she can't make time for me, (and by time, I don't mean much) nor can she communicate on a level that works for me.
Unrelated to her, but effected by her, is my recent choice to quit being the one who takes emotional care of every-freaking-body in my life. I'm there for my clients but would like at least one person in my life to have the emotional courage to suppport me in that way. I thought K was it. Thus my non-meh approach to her behavior.
I spoke about this with a rl friend a bit ago and he gave me an interesting perspective. "It's not you, Bonny. Nobody cares about anybody's feelings anymore."
I wish I found that more comforting than blood chilling.
"It's not you, Bonny. Nobody cares about anybody's feelings anymore."
Yeah that is not true in my experience AT ALL. I'm sorry your friend has had a different experience.
Bullshit. But if that's what it takes to make someone feel like less of soulless asshole, to talk about The Incivility of The Modern Era, good luck with that.
Or, you know, I could be nobody.
bonny, I care! I admit I can be a complete dork sometimes wrt forgetting birthdays etc but I feel horrible about it afterwards and always try to make it up to people. I have enjoyed reading your posts and feel like I know you a little and I feel horrible that your friend doesn't seem able to be there for you.
