{{{Drew}}} I'm sorry for your loss.

{{{Drew}}} I'm so sorry. I meant to say so earlier.

Why exactly is she your best friend, bonny? We've only come in at the end here where she's been a source of frustration.

What's awesome about her?

These are good questions, David. K and I have been friends for about 5 years.

We are extremely different people, but have been so fascinated by each other that we grew incredibly close. We supported each other threw a LOT of stuff. Me helping her to learn new emotional skills for dealing with her company and with her very difficult family. ALWAYS being available for the errand or task...going to the airport at 4am, cleaning up after the party, fixing this or that.

Her helping me by expanding my horizons and social network, trusting me with her life, paying for fancy dinners and hanging out over Dancing With the Stars.

It may sound ironic, but we both highly value loyalty and have stuck together through some pretty difficult stuff (not between us, but around us).

That's what bothers me so much...that she can't make time for me, (and by time, I don't mean much) nor can she communicate on a level that works for me.

Unrelated to her, but effected by her, is my recent choice to quit being the one who takes emotional care of every-freaking-body in my life. I'm there for my clients but would like at least one person in my life to have the emotional courage to suppport me in that way. I thought K was it. Thus my non-meh approach to her behavior.

I spoke about this with a rl friend a bit ago and he gave me an interesting perspective. "It's not you, Bonny. Nobody cares about anybody's feelings anymore."

I wish I found that more comforting than blood chilling.

"It's not you, Bonny. Nobody cares about anybody's feelings anymore."

Yeah that is not true in my experience AT ALL. I'm sorry your friend has had a different experience.

Bullshit. But if that's what it takes to make someone feel like less of soulless asshole, to talk about The Incivility of The Modern Era, good luck with that. Or, you know, I could be nobody.

bonny, I care! I admit I can be a complete dork sometimes wrt forgetting birthdays etc but I feel horrible about it afterwards and always try to make it up to people. I have enjoyed reading your posts and feel like I know you a little and I feel horrible that your friend doesn't seem able to be there for you.

I agree. I don't think it's true at all that people don't care.

Given my recent waxing rhapsodic about the wonderful care I received when I was ill, I clearly don't subscribe to that newsletter. However, it does seem as some people have become so absorbed in their own stuff that a suggestion that they consider someone else's feelings actually offensive. This appears to be the case with my friend. It bothers me so much because I HAVE cared so much for her.

bonny, I care! I admit I can be a complete dork sometimes wrt forgetting birthdays etc but I feel horrible about it afterwards and always try to make it up to people. I have enjoyed reading your posts and feel like I know you a little and I feel horrible that your friend doesn't seem able to be there for you.

Aw. Thanks Laga, and right back atcha.

I am the worst birthday keeper, but it isn't for lack of caring!

Drew, I'm very sorry for your loss.

bonny, I am a little appalled that your "friend" doesn't seem capable of being a friend.