Yeah, so I guess the secret e-mail plan didn't work out so well.
s unil what is this i,m heraring from suresh uncle that you emiled the girl that you do not want to do arranfed marrige. if you wanted to say anything why did you not call us you have no courtasy or respect.. do you have any idea what you made us look like..... call me right NOW pappa wants to talk to you he has been calling you and on purpose you are not picking up the phone.... CALL PAPPA HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU... IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL BEING AN ADULT???/
On purpose I was not picking up the phone because they called
four times in a row
during Theater Pub. Yes, I call this being an adult. I call it making my own goddamn motherfucking decisions.
Ugh, P-C. I wish I had more to offer you than sympathy and gutteral noises. I am so proud of how you're handling the whole matter.
I have to say, it does sound like you want to keep your parents out of it but also converse with this girl and that's ... problematic.
It's one thing to tell them you want no part of it and stand by that. But you are, from one perspective, not entirely uninterested.
And sending your parents mixed signals won't have them backing down. Why would they? You say you don't want them interfering but you have been emailing a girl they found. It's a step in the direction they want.
Yes but, is there any way to keep your parents at bay and still maybe meet the girl you're going to marry? Does it have to be all or nothing?
But you are, from one perspective, not entirely uninterested.
In the girl. I am entirely uninterested in the Process, and I have said so numerous times. There's a difference between two people e-mailing each other and their families getting all up in their grill every step of the way.
In any case, I never heard back from her after the initial response.
Yes but, is there any way to keep your parents at bay and still maybe meet the girl you're going to marry? Does it have to be all or nothing?
Apparently so. Guess I learned my lesson.
Does it have to be all or nothing?
From my admittedly vague understanding of the cultural expectations, yes.
I've tried to be supportive of P-C respectfully declining to participate in an arranged marriage. But respectfully. And secretly emailing a girl (from his perspective) / prospective wife (from his parents) behind everyone's backs isn't respectful in this situation, to me.
My response above was to Laga's post, not yours, P-C.
I am entirely uninterested in the Process, and I have said so numerous times.
But can you see how starting up communication with a woman that your parents see as a prospective wife is blurring that line?
I just think that if you want them to respect you as an adult who wants to chose their own mate, you need to steer very clear of the potential wives they find for you. Otherwise they have no reason to stop pestering and poking and trying.
