I have to say, it does sound like you want to keep your parents out of it but also converse with this girl and that's ... problematic.

It's one thing to tell them you want no part of it and stand by that. But you are, from one perspective, not entirely uninterested.

And sending your parents mixed signals won't have them backing down. Why would they? You say you don't want them interfering but you have been emailing a girl they found. It's a step in the direction they want.

Yes but, is there any way to keep your parents at bay and still maybe meet the girl you're going to marry? Does it have to be all or nothing?

But you are, from one perspective, not entirely uninterested.

In the girl. I am entirely uninterested in the Process, and I have said so numerous times. There's a difference between two people e-mailing each other and their families getting all up in their grill every step of the way.

In any case, I never heard back from her after the initial response.

Yes but, is there any way to keep your parents at bay and still maybe meet the girl you're going to marry? Does it have to be all or nothing?

Apparently so. Guess I learned my lesson.

Does it have to be all or nothing?

From my admittedly vague understanding of the cultural expectations, yes.

I've tried to be supportive of P-C respectfully declining to participate in an arranged marriage. But respectfully. And secretly emailing a girl (from his perspective) / prospective wife (from his parents) behind everyone's backs isn't respectful in this situation, to me.

My response above was to Laga's post, not yours, P-C.

I am entirely uninterested in the Process, and I have said so numerous times.

But can you see how starting up communication with a woman that your parents see as a prospective wife is blurring that line?

I just think that if you want them to respect you as an adult who wants to chose their own mate, you need to steer very clear of the potential wives they find for you. Otherwise they have no reason to stop pestering and poking and trying.

In any case, I never heard back from her after the initial response.

So it doesn't matter anyway, eh?

I wish there was some way for everyone to be happy. But maybe the only person you can make happy is yourself, P-C.

But yeah, easier said than done.

But can you see how starting up communication with a woman that your parents see as a prospective wife is blurring that line?

I can.

I just think that if you want them to respect you as an adult who wants to chose their own mate, you need to steer very clear of the potential wives they find for you. Otherwise they have no reason to stop pestering and poking and trying.

As I said, lesson learned. I thought I could make this work out somehow.

As I said, lesson learned.

Days we learn something aren't always easy days, but I think they are, in the end, good days.

Sorry it's such a rough learning curve though.

P-C, not to make light of the situation, but previously e-mails you have shared were all ASSCAPS, so at least she got her finger off the shift button, right?