Sometimes it helps, because steam needs to be blown off, but sometimes it stops you from being able to see what's going on, and own your own stuff.

Yes. Sometimes it seems like "um, dude, check yourself before you wreck yourself" would be harsh, given everyone saying 'OMG EvilPerson is EVIL!" and sometimes it starts to feel like you have to go there given all teh EVIL. ...on the other hand, some people are Tino. :) And sometimes you just want to vent and have support.

[ETA: I don't actually have any specific situation in mind, and certainly don't mean smonster and the roomie]

Scrappy, I can see what you are saying. However, I also know people have been hurt in the past by advice when they were only looking for validation and hairpats. So, I guess it depends on the situation and the person. I am personally fine with the theory that Buffistas are wise and the rest of the world is wrong headed.

There's a reason "Scrappy is wise" is an oft-used phrase around here, at least IMO.

Teppy, do I have to avoid alcohol on cipro?

You can have it in moderation. So cancel the kegger for this weekend, missy! But really, a drink or 2 will be fine.

Also, Cipro is one of the drugs where you should keep an eye on your tendons -- Achilles, rotator cuff, other joints. Don't obsess over every little twinge, but if you notice consistent pain/swelling/inflammation in any of your joints/tendon areas, stop taking the Cipro and call your doctor. It can fuck tendons up big time.

I think that support in Bitches sometimes spills over into demonizing whoever or whatever makes a Buffista feel bad

Whoever's in opposition to someone posting here does tend to be 100% in the wrong, sometimes with very colourful language.

This does tend to be the Bitch MO, in my experience. I get that as friends, vilifying and grousing is a big part of providing support, but I have wondered from time to time if maybe not every person who's done a Bitch wrong has to be condemned to a thousand lifetimes in the bowels of a thousand hells, with only their fleas to keep them company, etc., etc.

We certainly have a command of dramatic and colorful language, that's for sure.

However, I also know people have been hurt in the past by advice when they were only looking for validation and hairpats.

Sometimes I just want people to grouse with me, but sometimes I want advice. It's probably better to be clear about what we want.

From both my Father and Mother's experience, strong antibiotics can make you feel as bad or worse than what you're taking them for, sadly.

Zenkitty: [link]

Just went out to a lovely birthday lunch at Green Goddess with Tom. Hooray! I had 2 cocktails and he drove me back to the office. Hooray!

Re: villifying, etc. I spend pretty much all my time assuming I am the one who has made the mistake, who is in the wrong. It's nice to be able to go to the one place ever at all that will validate what I am feeling within reason.

In smonster's case, I honestly believe that the roommate was pushing some significant boundaries, got called on it by smonster, and then backtracked so she didn't seem fully insane. I don't think she's an evil person, and in fact Tom and I agreed that we would probably do much the same thing if we were called out on our crazy shit.

Therefore, I don't actually believe that smonster was being over-react-y drama queen as she assumed after her interaction. I said so. That's about the size of it.

People suck a lot, and good people we love sometimes do sucky things. It's nice to have a place to blow of steam about it without hurting anyone's feelings. If that's too... unrealistic or annoying, then OK. Good to know.

will that young woman be in the picture or likely not?

I don't know. I know she's being considered for the role, but that the filmmakers want to do a full round of casting.

strong antibiotics can make you feel as bad or worse than what you're taking them for, sadly.

This is sadly true.

I think that support in Bitches sometimes spills over into demonizing whoever or whatever makes a Buffista feel bad, and that can hinder getting to a healthy place. I think we all need a reality check sometimes and sometimes it seems to me that we (Buffistas) fail to do that.

Yup, this is absolutely true. It's sometimes hard to know from a distance how best to be supportive, and we definitely do the pile-on here.

I did this, in a way, with my student on his way to Chicago. He kept saying stuff like, "I'm scared," and I was too quick to jump in with "You'll be fine." Which, while supportive, wasn't actually what he needed. I finally twigged to it at the airport and managed to ask, "Ok, what exactly is scaring you right at this moment?" and then we got to a productive conversation.

So maybe here we can take a breath to step back and ask some questions when we're getting ready to engage with something. And maybe we can give each other permission to ask, do you just want validation here or can you hear some advice. That's a bit of a hard question to respond to, but maybe if we give permission up front for it to be asked, we can hear it without it sounding like an accusation?

Thanks, Teppy! I have taken cipro before, and haven't noticed increased pain, but I'll keep it in mind. I usually avoid alcohol when I am taking an antibiotic, but dinner with the in-laws this weekend...

Happy Birthday, Nora!

And re: Bitch dogpile, yeah, I try to be even handed, but it's hard to know sometimes when someone needs a full-on Tino validation with invective, and when they need a check/advice.

But, ya know, we're never going to get it right in every situation, and think about how great it is that we even question when the dogpile v. check/advice is appropo.

So, as long as we keep questioning ourselves and our needs situations/reactions as individuals and as a community, I think it's good.