Happy Birthdays to Zen and Ouise!

::other shoe drops::

Had the "are we dating exclusively" talk with St.W. Good news - he's not seeing anyone else, or even active on OKC right now. Not-so-good news - he's five months out from the end of a four-year relationship, and not looking for anything serious right now. I mean, I know we just met, and it's good that I know, and it doesn't mean that he won't change his mind or become ready... It's just that I have zero interest in being someone's rebound/good time/not that serious thing. Plus, I guess I'm still a bit raw with this coming on the heels of my involvement with B. It's a totally different situation, I know; I just really want to be with someone who's super excited about being with me. And St.W is, he loves spending time with me and talking to me and thinks I'm smart and pretty and funny and sexy and we've been texting and talking daily - I mean, it's all good.

I think I'm scared. Scared of really falling for him and then getting rejected again.

I made an erngh sound, smonster. I'm sorry. I wish it were less complicated.

Oh, smonster, you're so awesome. I love that you go into your relationships with your whole heart. It's part of what's so great about you.

So yeah, you may need to guard your heart on this one, but I wouldn't go borrowing too much trouble. It's early for you to know you'll be really falling for him yourself. He loves spending time with you and you love spending time with him, and maybe that's the best thing for you right now. Let it be what it is, if you can.

I want to tell my rebound guy story, but I'll put it in another post in whitefont so you can ignore it if it's not going to be helpful to you (spoiler alert: it didn't end well. Well, long run it ended well for everyone.) but the beginning is funny, anyway.

I love that you go into your relationships with your whole heart.

Yeah, I can't seem to roll any other way, no matter how many times it doesn't work for me.

Let it be what it is, if you can.

Endless opportunities for radical acceptance seem to be a hallmark of my lovelife.

Honestly, I don't know that I'm capable of guarding my heart. I have no idea what that would look like, or how it would work. I keep working on the present and honest thing - I did try to hide my disappointment temporarily, but trying to hide how I feel is always a waste of time.

One of the many facets of Liese & the SO's torrid romance: So the SO and I saw each other across a crowded room at freshman orientation. He was 23, I was 16, although neither of us realized that at the time. I mean, it wasn't my fault! He was a freshman! I can distinctly remember a) seeing him, and b) seeing him see me. I'm pretty sure Dream Weaver was playing in the background.

Anyway, we talked a few times, he came over to see why I was crying after an upsetting socio-political Humanities film, we liked each other. My response? To negotiate with my roommate, who also liked him, to see who was going to try to go out with him. (I won, in covert girl-code.) His response? To threaten the entire freshman guys' floor so they wouldn't ask me out.

Now, the SO's a pretty intimidating looking guy, so none of them did. I wondered why I wasn't doing very well. And then, bozo, he didn't ask me out himself.

So he hadn't thought to threaten all the grades, so a junior asked me out. He was cute, curly-headed, self-effacing. A baseball player. Really not my type, but hey, I was determined to get this college dating thing right.

But I was his rebound girl. He had just broken up with his long-term girlfriend and I was the fresh young thing who was going to make his world better. Except I wasn't. We got along fine. But I was the girl who made him realize that really, the woman he truly loved and would love for ever was his ex. So they got back together and were almost immediately engaged.

Which was pretty ouchy at the time, but then I came across the SO while he was on his way to the cafeteria and I was on my way to class (a common theme in our relationship) and I said, "We don't see each other anymore!" He said, "Yeah, I know." I said, "It's a shame we don't see each other!" He said, "Uh-huh." I said, "We should do something about that!" And he finally clued in and said, "Oh! Let me get your number."

So I had to club him over the head and drag him home, but it worked out in the end. And we were happy and they were happy.

eta: Okay, there were some other bumps on the way to happiness with the SO, but that's another story. And doesn't involve the future happiness of baseball players.

Yeah, I can't seem to roll any other way, no matter how many times it doesn't work for me.

No, I know. I recognize it because I'm the same way.

One of the many facets of Liese & the SO's torrid romance:

Ahahaha I love that story. Especially the Dream Weaver bit.

Liese, are you an ENFP? Just curious. St.W and I were talking MBTI/Keirsey types tonight, and realized that we are BOTH a) susceptible to bad influences and b) likely to BE the bad influences. Wuh oh. We're not the same type, though I now can't quite remember what he is, he was in between two types.

It's just that I have zero interest in being someone's rebound/good time/not that serious thing.

Scrappy's DH was a rebound that turned out to be something more.

So was my relationship with JZ. I think Laura and Brendon too. So you just don't know where it's going to go.

But I know this much - you two seem to enjoy each other's company. And it's sane and it seems real. So...I think you should just let it grow a bit and see what happens.

I like your anecdata!

So...I think you should just let it grow a bit and see what happens.

I will. It just wasn't quite what I wanted to hear, and it really took me by surprise that I got so upset. It's probably for the best that one of us at least is proceeding with caution.

Liese, are you an ENFP?

INFP. Funny that you nailed it so close!

Especially the Dream Weaver bit.

Hee. I use us as anecdata for love at first sight. I leave out the bit where we tried to elope and failed, and all the Sid & Nancy broken lamps and holes through walls bits when I try to do this, though. We did grow through it and mature and learn to work at our relationship eventually, but it did cost a certain amount in apartment security deposits until then.